Say What?

Presentation Skills Workshop

2011-12-13T08:14:00.000-06:00

Learn to present with clarity and confidence!

New
Presentation Skills Workshop
Thurday, January 26 – Houston

Here’s your chance to learn what it takes to engage your audience, and deliver your ideas clearly and confidently.

Award-winning international speaker, John Sturtevant presents:

This energetic one-day, hands-on workshop combines public-speaking techniques, story-telling principles, improvisational acting exercises, and practical guidelines for creating presentation graphics. All designed to give you the confidence and skills it takes to deliver clear and compelling presentations.

This workshop is ideal for:

• technical professionals who make presentations to management

• sales pros who want to sharpen their delivery skills

• managers who need to refine their communication skills

• anyone who wants to speak to an audience with confidence

*Registration includes refreshments, workbook, and lunch.*

Learn more and register here

Keep on writing.

2011-12-07T19:21:00.000-06:00

Writers write. Don’t give up.

Madeline L’Engle’s book, A Wrinkle in Time, was turned down 29 times before she found a publisher.

C.S. Lewis received over 800 rejections before he sold a single piece of writing.

Margaret Mitchell’s Gone With the Wind was rejected by 25 publishers.

Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance was rejected 121 times.

Johathan Livingston Seagull was rejected 40 times.

Louis L’Amour was rejected over 200 times before he sold any of his writing.

The San Francisco Examiner turned down Rudyard Kipling’s submission in 1889 with the note, “I am sorry, Mr. Kipling, but you just do not know how to use the English language.”

An editor told F. Scott Fitzgerald, “You’d have a decent book if you’d get rid of that Gatsby Character.”

The Dr. Seuss book, And to Think I Saw it on Mulberry Street, was rejected for being “too different from other juveniles on the market to warrant selling.”

George Orwell’s Animal Farm was rejected with the comment, “It’s impossible to sell animal stories in the USA.”

The manuscript for The Diary of Anne Frank received the editorial comment, “This girl doesn’t, it seems to me, have a special perception or feeling which would lift that book above the curiosity level.”

The Writing Workshop is now John Sturtevant's Business Writing Training

2011-08-11T12:41:00.011-05:00

The Writing Workshop is now John Sturtevant's Business Writing Training.

We've updated and improved our site. The Business Writing Training website www.thewritingworkshop.org is now www.JohnSturtevant.Com

You can learn more about our Business Writing Training, Onsite Writing Training, and Presentation Skills Training at www.JohnSturtevant.Com

Thanks!

John Sturtevant
713-861-9992
John@JohnSturtevant.Com

New! Presentation Skills Workshop

2011-07-08T10:41:00.003-05:00

Learn to present with clarity and confidence!

New!
Presentation Skills Workshop

Tuesday, September 13 – Houston

Here’s your chance to learn what it takes to engage your audience, and deliver your ideas clearly and confidently.

Award-winning international speaker, John Sturtevant presents:

Speak Like You Mean It!

This energetic one-day, hands-on workshop combines public-speaking techniques, story-telling principles, improvisational acting exercises, and practical guidelines for creating presentation graphics.

All designed to give you the confidence and skills it takes to deliver clear and compelling presentations.

This workshop is ideal for:

• technical professionals who make presentations to management

• sales pros who want to sharpen their delivery skills

• managers who need to refine their communication skills

• anyone who wants to speak to an audience with confidence

*Registration includes refreshments, workbook, and lunch.*

Learn more and register here

Hats off to a great communicator.

2011-03-25T14:18:00.006-06:00

"Songs are very interesting things to be doing with the air."
- Tom Waits

during his induction to the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.

IABC/Houston Business Writing Seminar April 7

2011-03-12T16:00:00.009-06:00

IABC/Houston has teamed up with John Sturtevant to host a full-day Business Writing Seminar in Houston on April 7.

IABC/Houston Members can register for this hands-on session for as little as $325. That's $100 off the regular registration of $425. Plus, IABC/Houston will receive $50 for every member who registers.

Even if you're not an IABC/Houston member, you can register 3 or more people together and save $125 each. Learn more here: http://www.thewritingworkshop.org/apr7jul26/

Get your registration discount here.

Celebrate correctly!

2011-03-03T10:09:00.003-06:00

See lots of ways to celebrate here: http://goo.gl/SjiBK

Fifteen thousand ways to say what you mean.

2011-02-21T11:19:00.003-06:00

A brimful of fun:
http://bit.ly/fifteenthousand

Business Writing Seminar

2011-02-10T15:21:00.000-06:00

Houston – April 7

Seattle – July 26

Register early and save as much as $100!

April 7, 2011 – Houston

Click here to learn more and register

July 26, 2011 – Seattle

Click here to learn more and register

Do you have a hard time putting your ideas into words?

Do you freeze up when you have to write a proposal,

or a report, or even a simple email?

Do you wish you could just say what you want to say in writing?

Get the confidence and skills you need to think clearly and write what you mean! In this energetic, hands-on full-day session, you'll discover what it takes to write compelling proposals, reports, business letters, and emails that get the results you want.

What you'll learn:

How to awaken your active-listening skills and write material that is relevant and meaningful to your target audience.

Analytical thinking techniques developed at Harvard Business School that help you focus your objectives and structure a logical and persuasive document.

Proven ways to uncover your reader’s perceptions and meet their expectations.

A logical writing approach so dynamic, you can apply your new writing skills immediately to communicate clearly to any audience in any scenario.

And much more!

Who should attend:

John Sturtevant's Business Writing Seminar is designed for people at any level in technology, oil & gas, finance, healthcare, retail – anyone who needs to think clearly, organize their ideas, and write persuasively.

This lively, interactive, hands-on workshop combines best-practice business examples with experiential-learning techniques, and interactive accelerated-learning principles to give you practical, relevant skills you can use immediately.

Register early and save as much as $100!

April 7, 2011 – Houston

Click here to learn more and register

July 26, 2011 – Seattle

Click here to learn more and register

See what others who attended have to say:

‘This is a very good class with innovative ideas....John is engaging and his concepts are practical.”
Glauco Venancio
L&D Specialist
Noble Corporation

“Great workshop...in-depth discussions on powerful concepts, and relevant examples applicable to all industries.”
Kaye Kahlich
Technology Services Advisor
Marathon Oil Company

“The ideas are easy to incorporate in business...lots of value with great descriptions and real-life examples.”
Shana Vaught
HR Coordinator
Enterprise Products

“Excellent class...interactive and full of practical ideas. Well worth my time and a value to my company.”
Maria Williams
Quality Assurance
Project & Technology
Shell Oil Company

John Sturtevant's Business Writing Seminar
April 7, 2011
Houston, TX

July 26, 2011
Seattle, WA

Learn more and register here.

Tips for corporate communicators.

2010-12-05T13:53:00.004-06:00

John Sturtevant talks with Mark Ragan during the Ragan Communications Corporate Writers and Editors Conference in Chicago, September 23, 2010

Learn to think clearly & write what you mean!

2010-11-10T11:09:00.005-06:00

John Sturtevant's Business Writing Seminar - January 13, 2011

Learn more, and get your early registration discount, here.

Dive in.

2010-10-06T14:36:00.020-05:00

I'm in Singapore. After I swam a few laps here , I've been leading a week of writing seminars for business people from Singapore and Malaysia.

This is my sixth trip to this island. With each visit, I learn more about the Singaporean culture. The city-state was a British colony until 1965, and so the English influence is still strong. But what excites me the most about the city is the mix of cultures and perspectives.

Singaporeans are a rich blend - 73% Chinese, 14% Malay, 9% Indian and a half dozen other groups. English is the primary business language, but most everyone speaks the lyrical Singlish among friends. The official native languages are Mandarin, Tamil, and Malay with sprinkles of Hokkien, Cantonese, Hindi, and a dozen other languages. What a fragrant and heady stew!

So as an Ang Moh coming to the Lion City to teach business writing, I am acutely aware of my own insular origin. Sometime catch no ball, la. Singaporeans can be a reserved lot. I look out into the audience and see emotionless, stoic faces. Are they listening to me? Are the concepts relevant? Do the analogies and metaphors in my stories translate?

Leading a full-day workshop is damn hard work. I have to keep my energy and enthusiasm at full throttle for eight hours. I have to tell stories and give examples to keep my concepts relevant and meaningful. And I have to keep the participants engaged and active so they don't settle back and fiddle with their Blackberries and iPhones.

I don't quite know how it works. But it feels like I send waves of energy into the audience. I lift them, swirl them, and keep them vibrating and alive for hours. Sometimes I imagine I'm conducting an orchestra.

After full day of caressing, and zapping, and pulling, and prodding the participants, I'm exhausted. And wired. It's exhilarating!

And it can be intimidating and scary. But rather than worry about how I might fail, I focus on how I will succeed. I trust myself. I trust my content. I know it works. And I know I'm really good at what I do.

The next time you find yourself standing in front of a sea of expectant faces, all wanting you to enlighten them, trust yourself. Stand up straight. Take a deep breath. And dive in.

I have to hand it to Steve.

2010-09-21T10:38:00.003-05:00

My pal Steve Crescenzo pumps his creative muscle in this Corporate Hallucinations post:

The most insidious threat to America is upon us.

Countdown!

2010-07-10T18:05:00.002-05:00

Event Registration Online for John Sturtevant's Business Writing Seminar

John Sturtevant's Business Writing Seminar - Register now!

2010-07-09T15:51:00.006-05:00

Learn more and register here.

Get the confidence and skills you need to think clearly & write what you mean.

Information is plentiful in every organization. But how you communicate that information is critical. You must continually turn information into knowledge to help your managers, colleagues, and customers understand often complex ideas, and make educated decisions.

Clear writing starts with clear thinking.

John Sturtevant's Business Writing Seminar is an energetic, fun, challenging, and thought-provoking day packed with new ideas and practical techniques – all designed to give you the confidence to master what people struggle with the most – how to think clearly and write what you mean.

What you’ll learn:

The most important goal in writing (it’s not what you think).
The #1 question on every reader’s mind (you’re thinking it right now).
Why thinking about tomatoes will make you a better writer (it really works!)
4 ways to define your objective and expected outcome.
Listening skills that help you identify your reader’s perspective.
How to understand, and answer, your reader’s expectations.
Why format, style, and organization contribute to clear writing.
Persuasive-writing structure and techniques that produce results.
Dozens of other practical ideas you can use immediately!

Who should attend:

Managers, technical professionals, business analysts, sales & marketing pros, administrative staff – everyone who has to communicate their ideas throughout the work day.

In this highly-interactive full-day session, you will collaborate on problem- solving exercises, write and revise assignments, and learn from others through peer critiques.

You’ll also learn and practice the principles of analysis and argument. In business, you most often write to convince others to do something – approve a budget, change a process, support a project, and dozens of other kinds of decisions. You’ll learn how to think analytically and form a logical, persuasive argument.

Agenda:

7:30am - Continental breakfast and check-in

8:30am - 12:00pm morning session

12:00pm - 1:00pm working lunch - box lunch provided

1:00pm - 4:30pm afternoon session

(plenty of breaks throughout the day!)

Have questions?

Call us: 713-861-9992

Email us: john@thewritingworkshop.org

Learn more and register here.

Workshop syllabus:

Clear Writing Essentials

You’ll learn to organize your thinking and write what you mean, without the clutter of useless words and complexity.

What you’ll learn:

How to be clear – The single most important goal in writing.
Purpose – Why are you writing? What are you writing? What do you want to accomplish?
Audience – Who is your reader? What’s his perspective? What are his expectations?
Plan, write, revise, edit – A process to help you think clearly, organize your ideas, focus your objectives, take less time, and have more fun writing.

Analysis

You will learn how to dig deeper, understand your objectives, consider options, choose a direction, and organize your ideas.

You will learn how to use these planning tools:
Analytical questions - How to look beyond the obvious.
Brainstorming - How to generate ideas and form connections.
Outlining - How to organize your ideas and structure a logical document.

Analysis Exercises

You will participate in a series of exercises designed to help you examine a situation thoroughly, and ask the right kinds of questions.

What you’ll learn:
A 4-step process that’s guaranteed to improve your efficiency.
Practical ways to uncover your real objectives for writing.
How to keep your words from obscuring your ideas.
How to address the 4 most common reader attitudes.
Ways to avoid jargon, clichés and pompous language.
How to motivate your reader to take action.

Persuasive Communication Skills

We’ll look at the principles of persuasive communication. You will learn how to structure an argument, introduce facts, support claims, and make clear recommendations – all essential to persuasive communication.

We’ll analyze a given business situation and produce an outline for an effective argument.

What you’ll learn:

The 5 most common communication mistakes business people make – and how to avoid them.
Commitment, Structure, Coherence – the model of a tight presentation.
29 questions to help you think and write analytically.
How to achieve cooperation and encourage action through writing.
The 7 essential components of an effective argument.
Sentences & Paragraphs
The Sentence - People use them every day, but don’t know what they are.
The Paragraph - Your document’s rhythm section.
You will learn how to write effective sentences and paragraphs to make your writing clear, logical, and persuasive.
Revising & Editing
We’ll look at writing examples and revise them to improve style, structure, word choice, and clarity.
Style - How to set the right tone for your audience and purpose.
Clarity - What’s clear for the writer is often confusing for the reader!
Loud, later, slow - A 3-step technique to help strengthen your writing.

Assignment:

Working in teams, you will write an assignment based on a given business scenario. Using the ideas and outline you created during the workshop, you will determine purpose, audience, and expected outcome.

Critiques:

Each team will present their paper and discuss how they accomplished the assignment.

What You'll Get:

You'll learn dozens of new ideas and techniques you can use right away to communicate clearly and persuasively.

Plus you'll get coffee, soft drinks, and snacks - and a healthy lunch!

You'll also receive a 78-page workbook with notes, examples, exercises, grammar tips, and a recommended reading list.

About your instructor:

John Sturtevant has taught thousands of business people around the world how to think analytically and communicate their ideas clearly and persuasively.

He co-developed a business-writing curriculum and taught a highly-acclaimed writing course at Harvard Business School. He also created a communications program and was Professor of Business Communications at The European School of Economics in Rome, Italy.

John was also Vice President of Marketing for an Internet software company, which was acquired in 2000. Prior to that, John co-founded SturtevantFishbourne, an award-winning, full-service advertising and marketing agency in Boston.

He began his career in communications in 1985 as Senior Producer at AVW, Houston's premier multimedia production company. He created programs designed to motivate employees, and simplify complex ideas.

Today, John is a top-rated speaker at conferences and association events throughout the world. He also presents writing training at organizations worldwide.

Learn more and register here: http://sturtevant.eventbrite.com

Dad

2010-06-20T13:57:00.002-05:00

My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." ~Harmon Killebrew

Why it’s sometimes OK to make a fool of yourself.

2010-05-19T22:49:00.003-05:00

Now, let me just say first off – I am not a frequent drinker. Yet, I live true to the adage “Everything in moderation, including moderation.”

But (you knew it was coming) under persistent pressure from The Client, I did on a particular occasion, enjoy several rather robust vodka Martinis (despite my feeble protests) while having dinner with The Client in a shameless attempt to secure business from him.

And this is what happened.

The First Act.
I accepted a generous Martini at the bar while waiting for The Client’s Partner who was running a few minutes late. And, after moving to our assigned table, I sipped a second Martini to near completion (saving the last sip to savor with its olive).

Then, in response to the Client’s observation that the little candle in a glass votive was burning against its tiny (but as I was soon to discover, exceedingly potent) opaque nest, transposing its pearly luster to murky carbon, I made an awkward attempt at gallantry, and reached across the table to retrieve the offending object.

And, despite having had a sufficient dose of spirits, I was quick to notice how efficiently the exceedingly hot glass scalded my right thumb and forefinger.

This observation compelled me to move the red-hot vessel from my sad grasp in a most expedient manner.

The Second Act.
My decision as to how that removal should occur is one I now regret. My chosen action was to rapidly separate my fingers from the ill-tempered scoundrel. And, obeying natural law, the object began a rapid descent and made a twisty landing onto my salad plate with its few remaining field greens.

The sudden impact sent searing white hot wax splashing down the front of my new, blue rayon shirt and onto my lap.

My arm continued its recoil and the elbow knocked and tipped my Martini glass just enough to spill a few remaining drops. However, I am proud to say that I was able to right the capsized dingy just before the last of the liquid attempted to vacate its shelter.

The Third Act.
At the same moment, the Confident Executive to my left was about to enjoy a mouthful of ruddy Merlot, his elbow lifted and cocked before him as be brought the goblet to his mouth.

His effort was not rewarded however, as he was forced by instinctive response to react in a startled manner to the event taking place on the salad plate, in the air, and in the lap of Humiliated Business Writing Trainer to his right.

The sudden shifting of my dinner companion’s wine arm from its intended course directed several ounces of the vermilion fluid out of his stemmed glass, onto his own salad plate, and over the crisp white cloth that covered our table.

The Wait Staff.
A team of attentive servers was quick to respond to this silly commotion with fresh napkins, renewed wine glasses, and reassurance to startled diners nearby.

I was not offered another brisk Martini, but instead given a humbling half-glass of Merlot.

Furthermore, as atonement for my hasty action, I was required to spend the remainder of the evening cloaked in waxy armor, exposed before the public, who were left to judge the meaning of my mysterious white sash as they wished.

The Fluke.
This splashy event was not without its merits however, as it introduced a curious twist to an other wise level-headed evening of business talk.

The Client, I was surprised (and relieved) to learn, had successfully completed a similar feat some years earlier while in Tokyo and in the company of dignitaries from that country’s national airline. His deed was made more humbling by the gracious decorum of the Executives and Geisha who were in attendance.

The Advice.
The Client was correct to point out, I admitted to him the next day, that perhaps I might choose another more prudent option to extinguish an errant flame in the course of future outings.

The Question.
So what, you might be wondering, has any of this to do with you?

Well for one thing, it serves as a simple cautionary tale, which might come to mind should you find yourself tempted by a flickering wick during a future business dinner of your own.

Or, it could entice you to join me at the dinner table in hopes that I might recreate similar acrobatics right before your astonished eyes.

Or, perhaps you’ll find my name at the top of your mind when you next consider how best to give your staff the confidence and skills they need to think clearly and write what they mean.

And don’t be concerned if you fear your colleagues may be a tricky bunch. After this humbling experience, I can handle the heat.

Found objects.

2010-04-17T19:49:00.003-05:00

Being big.

2010-04-08T04:50:00.006-05:00

Where: IABC Asia Pacific Global Communications Conference
Hong Kong
When: 8 April 2010

I feel big today. I feel big today because I’m surrounded by big people. People with vision. People with guts. People who make a difference by doing, not by talking about doing. People who tell the truth. People who listen to the truth about themselves. People who lead others because they know themselves as leaders. People who trust enough to follow others. It’s good to feel big.

Here are four big people:

Steve Crescenzo
Why he’s big: He’s a solid mass of smartass insight about life and the art of telling it like it is.

Christina Corrigan Grossgart
Why she’s big: She is a phenomenon of compassion, empathy, laughter, and essential giving.

Robert Swan
Why he’s big: He embodies infinite courage, boundless humility, selfless commitment to humanity, and impeccable timing.

S. Max Brown
Why he’s big: His constancy of purpose reminds me the journey is the destination.

Thanks big guys!

And the journey continues.

Healthcare Relief on April 1st

2010-04-01T09:11:00.005-06:00

White House Department of Communication and Community Affairs Prescribes Clear Writing Training for its staff.

April 1, 2010 – John Sturtevant, Founder of The Writing Workshop, announced today his company has been called on to conduct a series of Clear Writing Workshops for the US Health and Human Services Communications and Public Affairs Department.

The writing training will take place over the coming eight months at the HHSCPA Department’s Washington DC headquarters.

After they receive their training, the first major project for the Department’s Communications Staff will be to draft a new version of the HR 3590 Patient Protection Affordable Care Act, commonly known as the Health Reform Bill.

“This is a much needed step in a new direction,” said Alec Ferdyshchenko, Managing Director of US Health and Human Services Communications and Public Affairs Department, which has been given responsibility for drafting a new version of the Health Reform Bill.

“There has been much debate among both parties here in Washington, and among business leaders, healthcare professionals, and the public-at-large since the bill passed last week,” said a White House spokesman. “People are basically enraged about the Bill’s complex, verbose, and downright incomprehensible language. I for one, am glad someone is taking action.”

Although the bill is still the subject of debate and revision in terms of specific policy implementation, Mr. Ferdyshchenko said, “The President believes it’s essential that we write the amendments in plain language that every American can understand. And most importantly, in a way that will give Americans the ability to see the value in the bill’s new policies.”

President Obama was reportedly pleased with the decision to enlist the help of The Writing Workshop. In an email received earlier today, President Obama wrote: “When I took office nearly a year and a half ago, we began a new era of change in this country. With your help Mr. Sturtevant, I am confident we will see a dramatic improvement in the way we communicate within our various departments, with all branches of the government, and indeed, with all Americans here and abroad. That is the kind of change I have been fighting for here in Washington. Thank you.”

“I am thrilled,” said John Sturtevant. “This is an exciting opportunity for me to play an active role in helping create the kind of change we need in this country. Plus, it’s a great way for me to celebrate April 1st!"

The Writing Workshop delivers onsite business writing training to organizations worldwide. Learn more at http://www.thewritingworkshop.org

Happy Birthday, Mr. Frost

2010-03-26T09:48:00.003-06:00

Stopping By Words On A Spring Morning

Whose words these are I think I know
I’m without a dictionary though,
It will not help me writing here
To craft the thought I’d like to show.

My little brain must think it queer
To write with no thesaurus near,
Between the brain and snow-white page,
the brightest moment might appear.

I give my keyboard keys a stroke
to ask for fire, spark and smoke,
I search my brain most inner deep,
to discover there what ‘twill evoke.

Alas, comes forth a peep
From inner most, and darkest deep
My brain yearned for a warm wet steep
Now I’ve pages to go before I sleep,
I've pages to go before I sleep.

Are you bad?

2010-03-19T14:58:00.004-06:00

Clear Idea #4 to help you write what you mean.

We’re looking for a few good losers.

2010-03-16T13:48:00.016-06:00

We launched our Business Writing Workshop full-time 5 years ago today!

To celebrate, we’re looking for the 5 best examples of the worst business writing in America.

(Re)introducing:

The Best of The Worst

The Search for America’s Worst Business Writing

Here’s your chance to show the world just how bad it gets.

You know those mystifying memos you receive from your president? Or the excruciatingly obscure emails your sales manager sends? Or the cryptic instructions from your IT department?

Well now you can put all those maddening messages to good use. Submit them to The Best of The Worst - The Search for America’s Worst Business Writing.

(If you’re really brave, submit your own writing.)

We’ll read all the entries we receive (if we can stomach it). Then we’ll pick the 5 most horrible examples as our Winning Losers.

The Real Winner (that’s you) will receive a free copy of Martha Brockenbrough's book: Things That Make Us [sic].

It’s funny, insightful, and an essential read for anyone who wants to be clear (especially your boss).

Plus we’ll read the Winning Losers’ wrenching writing on camera and publish the video on this site, so the rest of the world can suffer through it too.

(Hey, you shouldn’t have to endure that stuff alone.)

Best of all, we’ll revise the offending document using Sturtevant’s Principles of Clear Writing, then return it to you in much better shape.

Oh, by the way, nobody here at The Writing Workshop, or among the people we know and love, assumes any responsibility whatsoever if you send us your boss’s writing and he or she gets mad and fires you, or anything else bad happens.

The way we see it, you deserve a raise instead.

Submit your Best of The Worst example by clicking “Comment Here” below.

I support National Grammar Day!

2010-03-03T13:51:00.006-06:00

English is burdened by so-called grammar rules - an agglomeration of arbitrary advice attached to our language over eons in a feeble attempt to give this cobbled collection consistency and clarity. But, what the heck, it's the best we've got. So yeah, I support National Grammar Day!

Oh, and here's how I'll celebrate: The Grammartini.

Me, Myself & I

2009-12-01T11:36:00.003-06:00

Clear Idea #3 to help you write what you mean.

Continual or Continuous?

2009-11-18T12:16:00.003-06:00

Clear idea #2 to help you write what you mean.

Eight rules for business writing.

2009-11-13T13:04:00.004-06:00

The Master storyteller, Kurt Vonnegut, reveals ideas you can use in your job. Remember, even if you're writing a turbine inspection report, we are all people writing for other people.

Digest these ideas and apply them to the next document you write!

Eight rules for writing fiction:

1. Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.

2. Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for.

3. Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.

4. Every sentence must do one of two things -- reveal character or advance the action.

5. Start as close to the end as possible.

6. Be a sadist. Now matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them -- in order that the reader may see what they are made of.

7. Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.

8. Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. To heck with suspense. Readers should have such complete understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages.

-- Vonnegut, Kurt Vonnegut, Bagombo Snuff Box: Uncollected Short Fiction (New York: G.P. Putnam's Sons 1999), 9-10.

Was? Were?

2009-11-12T10:10:00.002-06:00

Clear Idea #1 to help you think clearly & write what you mean!

There's an App for that.

2009-11-11T17:43:00.001-06:00

Drive a car with your iPhone.

Southwest Airlines fails to deliver on its promise.

2009-11-10T07:02:00.017-06:00

Why is it so many companies spend perfectly good money to craft a sweet Mission Statement full of heart-warming promises, and then blatantly ignore it?

A sad example.
This is from the Southwest Airlines website:

THE MISSION OF SOUTHWEST AIRLINES
The mission of Southwest Airlines is dedication to the highest quality of Customer Service delivered with a sense of warmth, friendliness, individual pride, and Company Spirit.

So, the other day, my best friend sent a simple inquiry to the friendly folks at Southwest Airlines asking if she could change her flight to another on the same day without incurring hefty extra costs. Simple enough question, huh?

You’d think so.

Yet, despite Southwest Airline’s promise of warmth, friendliness, individual pride, my friend received a laughable form letter in response.

Confused, she inquired again. And she received this reply:

Dear ,

We are sorry you feel we did not adequately address your earlier inquiry. We have forwarded your e-mail to our Customer Relations Department so they can provide you with a specific and detailed response. Please note the Service Request number below should you have any questions. You should receive a response within 45 days.

Sincerely,

Margo, Southwest Airlines

Ack!

Let me ask you: does their response deliver on the promise Southwest Airlines made in their mission statement?

WTF? 45 days? Ummmm. No thanks.

Don’t try this at home.

Please Please! Take a few minutes now and read your own company’s Mission Statement. Then, ask yourself two questions:

1. Do I understand my company’s Mission Statement?
2. Can I deliver on the promise it makes?

If your answer is anything other than “yes, by golly!” stomp down the hall to the Marketing Big Wig’s office and demand a rewrite!

Then stomp even harder down the other hall to the President’s office and demand yo explain why you, and your colleagues, and all your customers are being lied to!

If that doesn’t work, throw away your mission statement, and instead live by Kristan Zhivago’s brilliant words:

Your brand is the promise you keep, not the one you make.

Ok, well, this soapbox is getting rickety. And I need to go cancel my Southwest ticket to Seattle, and buy one from Continental instead.

The Fountains of Paradise

2009-11-06T16:17:00.005-06:00

Here’s to the marriage of light and inertia, with minimal friction!

Space Elevator

A new way of thinking and doing.

2009-11-05T09:26:00.005-06:00

If you’re a speaker, or you want to be, this is for you. Learn more and register here:

Speaker’s Workshop: A New Way of Thinking and Doing

Find your Substitute Man.

2009-10-27T20:57:00.008-06:00

I’m just back from presenting a series of workshops in Singapore and Hong Kong. Over bowls of Bak chor mee and chǎo fàn one night, a friend told me about the popular new service popping up throughout Asia affectionately known as Substitute Man. A sort of freelance hybrid of a personal concierge and errand boy.

With the simmering hot economy throughout the region, few busy Asian professionals have time to shop for fresh vegetables, pick up starched shirts, or shuttle the kids to violin lessons. Which is why Substitute Man is a booming business opportunity for those willing to do just about anything for a fee.

This got me thinking. Why not find a Substitute Man for your business tasks too? Sure, there’s already a huge sector of consultants and freelancers out there. In fact, I’ve spent nearly my entire career working independently. My criteria for an ideal client? Anyone with a budget who was willing to give some of that budget to me.

What I’m think about is something more personalized. A right hand man, or woman, who you can turn to for more than just picking up Chicken & Broccoli, or churning out copywriting assignments. I’m talking about someone who can solve problems for you. And someone whose perspective and skills are different from yours. Someone who can get you out of your comfortable rut.

So I started sniffing around. Sure enough, Dan and Chip Heath are already on the scent. As they write in a recent Fast Company article: “…Chances are someone has solved your problem already.”

In The Writing Workshop, we explore how asking questions and being skeptical of the answers we hear are valuable communication skills for anyone in business. It’s a way for you to look beyond the obvious and see your world from other perspectives.

We tend to get stuck in ruts in our lives – doing the same things the same way and expecting different outcomes. This routine shows up in our relationships, work processes, even in our off hours when having fun becomes routine.

I’m not saying there’s something inherently wrong in having preferences. You can continue to like the same whole wheat toast with butter and jam for breakfast every morning. Rather, I’m suggesting you be willing to look at your topics from the other side.

Once you’ve determined exactly how to craft your email, or structure your welcome letter, ask yourself: “What if I didn’t do it that way? How would someone in an entirely different field handle this task?” Find your own Substitute (Wo)Man who will bring you the gift of a new point of view.

For a delightful kick-in-the-seat-of-the-brain, before you begin your next newsletter, dabble with Brian Eno’s Oblique Strategies here and here.

Whack!

This sucks.

2009-10-12T07:56:00.012-05:00

I bought a new vacuum cleaner last month. Now, that's usually no big deal, right? Well, yeah. Except my new Electrolux Ergorapido is a small wonder.

Foremost, it's fun to say Ergorapido five times aloud. (Try it! And roll those Rs. You'll be inspired to recite other memorable lines from The Princess Bride.)

Also, this miniature marvel is astoundingly well-designed. I won't give you the full sales pitch here, but if you're looking for a tiny titan to tidy your tiles, this is the one. Read reviews here.

Instead, the reason for this blathering blog is to politely encourage the folks at the Electrolux customer service desk to deliver on their promise.

Here's what they promise on the Electrolux web site:

It’s the service and dedication that sets us apart. At Electrolux, our service is based on the same principle that inspires each product we design: benefit you, the consumer, in every possible way. As an Electrolux ... owner, you will experience the highest level of service available in the industry today...

I agree, their product design is superb. But get a load of this reticent reply from a email I sent them praising the efficient Ergoprapido:

Thank you. Your message will be taken care of as soon as possible.

Blech. Not exactly inspirational. Certainly not the highest level of service available in the industry today. In fact, their tepid reply makes me feel like I spilled crumbs under the table. I can almost hear them sighing with exasperation.

Not that I'm looking for them to send me a bouquet of Twinflowers, but geewhiz, I hope they don't just...um..sweep me under the carpet.

My friendly note to Elextrolux:

Country: USA
Topic: Vacuum cleaners
First name: John
Last name: Sturtevant
Message Title: the Ergorapido is great!

I'm writing to commend you on the Ergorapido. It is beautifully designed down to every detail - the spring pull on the filter is genius! I use it several times a day, it actually makes me smile when I use it! Well done!
Sincerely,
One Happy Electrolux Customer

On Language

2009-09-27T21:09:00.003-05:00

"Never assume the obvious is true."

William Safire
1929 - 2009

We'll miss you every Sunday.

Let’s get punctual.

2009-09-24T08:51:00.006-05:00

^†

Today, as you may already know, is National Punctuation Day! This could mean [one of] several things for you: You don’t give a “hoot”; you wonder: “¿Why in the world didn’t I bake a special cake for this?”; you fondly recall seventh-grade English class with Mrs. McCoy – who rapped your knuckles with her rubber-tipped wooden pointer when you and Delbert Chase talked during class – and her Friday afternoon grammar quizzes; or you’re…like…what th’…oh, never mind.

Lately, within the past year or so, I’ve found juvenile delight in combining some of my favorite punctuation. Sometimes separate punctuation marks: WTF?!?! Sometimes the same mark repeated for effect: No Way!!!!! And sometimes, several seemingly unrelated marks together to add mystery: And you know what that means ~*^*!

Oh, and grazie mille to Steve Crescenzo for his avid use of multiple exclamation points in his poignant emails to my best friend about the electricity…well, that’s a whole ‘nother story.

Anyway, now that we all waste our limited hours txting and Facebooking* each other ad infinitum, punctuation has experienced a “paradigm shift”.

For example, . used to be a period. Now it’s also a ‘dot’, depending on its use. :-) used to be a random arrangement of a colon, n dash, and right parenthesis. Now, it’s a happy face!

In fact, there are oodles of ways you can use punctuation to improve your life (ie: your social media interaction.)

Here are a few emoticons you can use to “alert a responder to the tenor or temper of a statement”:

Happy :) - Colon followed by a parentheses
Very happy =) - Equals sign followed by a parentheses
Grinning :D - Colon followed by an uppercase d
Cat smiling ^_^ - Shift and press six, underscore, shift and press six
Wink smile ;) - Semicolon followed by a parentheses
Goofy smile 8) - Eight followed by a parentheses
Tongue sticking out :p - Colon followed by a lowercase "p"
Smiling devil 3:) - Three followed by a colon and parentheses
Smiling angel 0:) - Zero followed by a colon and parentheses
Angry >:( - Hold shift and press period, followed by a colon and parentheses
Pouting X( - Uppercase "X " followed by parentheses
Shocked =0 - Equals sign followed by a zero
Skeptical =/ - Equals sign followed by a forward slash
Embarrassed =X - Equals sign followed by an uppercase "X"
Devious smile >:) - Hold shift and press period, followed by a colon and parentheses
Tear :'( - Colon, followed by apostrophe, followed by parentheses
Frustrated X( - Uppercase "X" followed by a parentheses
Love <3>

Here is an example of an emoticon in a sentence: "I've been really sick for about a week. :( The doctor says I have the flu."

If you’re feeling especially punctuous, you can insert a nose into any emoticon by adding a dash between the eyes and mouth:

Happy :-)
Very happy =-)
Grinning :-D
Wink smile ;-)
Goofy smile 8-)
Tongue sticking out :-p
Smiling devil 3:-)
Smiling angel 0:-)
Angry >:-(
Pouting X-(
Shocked =-0
Skeptical =-/
Embarrassed =-X
Devious smile >:-)
Tear :'-(
Frustrated X-(

How to celebrate National Punctuation Day

1. Become familiar with the punctuation rules.

2. Organize punctuation activities at your school, library, or office, or even out on the sidewalk.

3. Share punctuation peeves with NPD founder Jeff Rubin.

4. Send photos of incorrectly punctuated signage to Jeff Rubin.

5. Mention National Punctuation Day to your friends, family, teachers, and colleagues as a way to spread the importance of proper punctuation.

Happy punctuating!!!! :-)

^†Typographical emoticons published in 1881 in the satirical magazine Puck

* Yes, it’s a verb.

Who gives a blog?

2009-09-13T22:03:00.015-05:00

My best friend, Christina, has asked us a question: Why do we read blogs, anyway?

Is it a habit? Or is it our insatiable need to feel connected. Maybe we blog and Facebook and Tweet each other to find a social identity that's been lost in the mire of traffic (no more passeggiata after dinner) and air conditioning (no more sitting on the front porch in evening to cool off and visit with neighbors).

One one hand (this one), I've connected with long lost pals. But I wonder, are we simply filling our lives with more chatter?

So Long Baby, So Long

2009-08-14T10:09:00.004-05:00

Les Paul
June 9, 1915–August 13, 2009

Your comfortable rut.

2009-08-04T17:38:00.010-05:00

I’ll bet you like your desk. Your chair. The framed pictures on your bookcase. Even the dusty Fichus tree in the corner.

Yup, there’s a good chance you like your job. Your funny coworkers. Casual day every Friday.

You’ve grown accustomed to the way you write your emails. Scan the inbox. Click reply all and type “I agree.”

You’re at peace with your proposal process. The smooth way you casually cut n’ paste the boilerplate text into your company’s template. Then put a number on the last page.

Yes, life is good. You efficiently move tasks off your desk throughout the day. Then stretch, yawn, and head home. Along the very same route you take every evening.

Heck, you probably say the very same things to the very same people headed to the very same parking garage each day at 4:49. “See ya Ed. Have a good one!”

Yup. The comfortable rut, can’t live without it.

Problem is, you can’t live with it, either.

Your comfortable rut compels you to stagnate. You know, get all slimy and smelly. Eeeew.

And then, you periodically spew bubbles of effluent and let them drift away in the breeze down your office corridor.

Oh, you don’t call it spew. That’s nasty. No, you give your emission an official name. Status report. Formal Proposal. A.C.E., PHIP, work schedule, meeting agenda, project update….yuck. And you store that discharge in vats called Repositories. Mainly so you don’t have to look at it every day!

Because, in your heart, you know: nobody wants to read that stuff!

Heck, you don’t want to read your own stuff! How many of you read your own writing and feel thrilled?! Let’s see that’s…. 1,2,3….seven of you.

So, how do you leap from your own comfortable rut?

First, look up!

My pal Sam Harrison will show you hundreds of ways to spot ideas and new perspectives simply by looking at the world around you – with a fresh eye.

Then, change your behavior!

My friend Thiagi will lift you out of your rut by helping you see how games are serious business, and how your world is ripe with opportunities for collaboration.

Make a commitment today. Rise up from your own comfortable rut.

Hell yeah, it’s scary.

Can't do it alone? Then look for inspiration from those apart from your field.

Are you an engineer? Cool. You’ll find new ideas about systems at the ballet. You’re a finance whiz? Great! Buy the biggest Lego set you can find and seek balance. What? You’re a MarComm pro? Sit in the dark and look over the shoulder of a C++ programmer.

Outside your comfort zone? Perfect. You’re one leg up, buddy.

"When we follow our own decisions, we are motivated and satisfied."
- Brian Remer

“Every noble task is at first impossible.”
- Thomas Carlyle

About that roughed up nose.

2009-06-15T18:14:00.006-05:00

Beard-second

The beard-second is a unit of length inspired by the light year, but used for extremely short distances typical in nuclear physics.

The beard-second is defined as the length an average physicist's beard grows in a second. The Physics Handbook defines that as 5 nanometers. Google Calculator supports the beard-second for unit conversions using The Physics Handbook conversion factor.

For your convenience, a few handy conversions:

1mm = 2.31 beard-days
1cm = 3.3 beard-weeks
1m = 6.35 beard-years
1km = 6.35 beard-milleniums

Disclaimer #3: after 2.31 beard-days, side effects could result in scabbing.

333 words that have remained unchanged for 2000 years.

2009-06-08T21:45:00.002-05:00

Our language changes daily. But in the whirlwind, it's comforting to know some things stay the same.

abacus
abdomen
aborigines
actor
acumen
addendum
administrator
agenda
aggressor
agitator
album
alias
alibi
altar
alumnus
amen
animal
animus
annotator
ante
antenna
anterior
apex
apostrophe
apparatus
appendix
aquarium
ardor
area
arena
aroma
asparagus
assessor
asylum
audio
auditorium
aura
axis
basis
benefactor
biceps
bonus
cactus
cadaver
calculator
camera
campus
candor
caper
captor
caret
caveat
censor
census
chaos
character
cinnamon
circus
citrus
clamor
climax
coitus
collector
colon
color
colossus
coma
comma
commentator
compendium
competitor
compressor
conductor
confine
consensus
consortium
consul
continuum
contractor
cornucopia
corpus
cranium
crater
creator
creditor
credo
crisis
crux
curator
datum
December
decorum
deficit
delirium
demonstrator
dictator
dictum
dilemma
diploma
discus
distributor
doctor
dogma
drama
duo
duplex
duplicator
echo
editor
educator
ego
elevator
emphasis
emporium
enema
enigma
error
exit
exterior
exterminator
extra
facile
factor
favor
fervor
fetus
fiat
focus
formula
forum
fungus
furor
gemini
genesis
genius
geranium
gladiator
gusto
gymnasium
habitat
helix
hiatus
honor
horizon
horror
humor
hyena
hyphen
icon
idea
ignoramus
illustrator
imitator
impostor
impromptu
incubator
index
indicator
inertia
inferior
inquisitor
insomnia
inspector
instigator
instructor
interest
interim
interior
interrogator
investigator
iris
item
janitor
junior
labor
languor
legislator
lens
liberator
liquor
major
mania
martyr
matrix
mausoleum
maximum
mediator
medium
mentor
minimum
minister
minor
minus
miser
moderator
momentum
monitor
moratorium
motor
murmur
museum
narrator
nausea
navigator
nectar
neuter
nucleus
oasis
objector
ode
odor
omen
onus
opera
operator
opus
orator
osmosis
pallor
panacea
par
paralysis
pastor
pathos
patina
pauper
pelvis
peninsula
perpetrator
persecutor
persona
petroleum
phoenix
phosphorus
plasma
platinum
plus
podium
pollen
possessor
posterior
prior
pro
professor
progenitor
propaganda
prosecutor
prospectus
protector
quantum
quota
rabies
radius
rancor
ratio
receptor
recipe
rector
referendum
regalia
regimen
renovator
rhododendron
rigor
rostrum
rumor
saliva
sanatorium
scintilla
sculptor
sector
senator
senior
series
serum
simile
sinister
sinus
siren
solarium
species
specimen
spectator
spectrum
sphinx
splendor
sponsor
squalor
stadium
status
stigma
stimulus
stratum
stupor
successor
sulphur
superior
tandem
tenor
terminus
terror
thesis
thorax
torpor
transgressor
translator
tremor
tribunal
trio
trivia
tuba
tumor
tutor
ulterior
vacuum
valor
vapor
verbatim
vector
vertigo
vesper
veto
vice versa
victor
video
vigil
vigor
villa
vim
virus
visa
viscera
vortex

:-)

Close your eyes.

2009-06-05T13:50:00.004-05:00

Our language is elusive. Letters, words, numbers. They’re graphic images that represent the invisible: Ideas. And we put them in relatively random order and hope our readers make sense of it.

Yet, we rely on these symbols to help us make critical decisions.

Here’s an idea for you: your reader determines the meaning behind your words. And that meaning will likely be different from the one you intended.

As you’re reading this, you’re interpreting my words and giving them meaning. Your meaning. You’re comparing what I’m saying to things you already know, or assume to be true in your life.

Then you’re assigning value to that meaning. Is what I’m saying useful to you, or not? You decide that. Not me.

And your readers do the exact same thing when they read what you write. When they sit at their desk and listen to you on the phone. When they lean against the wall in the hallway listening to you talk.

And as they read and listen, they’re distracted by dozens of other things in their lives.

What’s for lunch. How long will you keep talking. I need to send that email to Joyce. This guy didn’t trim his ear hair, I wonder why. What am I supposed to do with what he’s telling me. My shoes hurt.

So here’s what I’d like you to practice this week. The next time you’re ready to fire off an email, close your eyes. Give yourself thirty seconds to think.

Imagine your reader. What will she be doing when she gets your email? What other distractions does she have in her day that are more important than you? How will she interpret your words and numbers – your graphic symbols? What specific idea do you want to plant in her mind? What decision do you want her to make? What knowledge do you want her to have that she doesn’t have now? Is an email the best way to communicate?

Use your words to give your reader context, relevance, and meaning. Not just data.

Ok. Now keep your eyes closed, and start typing.

Warren Buffet does it, so can you.

2009-05-01T05:27:00.006-05:00

Warren Buffet is one of my heroes.

He's a remarkably successful businessman. His company, Berkshire Hathaway, has posted spectacular growth since he took over in 1964. Wish I'd invested a hundred bucks with him back then.

Over the last 44 years, book value has grown from $19 to $70,530, a rate of 20.3% compounded annually.

But what earns my respect even more, is Mr. Buffet's ability to write clearly and persuasively. He writes what he means.

Here's a sentence from a mutual fund prospectus - not his:

Maturity and duration management decisions are made in the context of an intermediate maturity orientation. The maturity structure of the portfolio is adjusted in anticipation of the cyclical interest rate changes.

Here's Warren Buffet's revision:

We will try to profit by correctly predicting future interest rates.

Man, that's a pure sentence. It's not simplistic. Buffet's not trying to dumb it down for us. Rather, he conveys clarity and honesty in an industry known for murky ethics.

"We will try to profit," Buffet writes. That little three-letter word try represents millions of dollars in trust. People know he won't always profit. And he knows they know that. So he writes what he means. He can't promise he will always succeed. But he can promise he will try.

In his 2008 Shareholder letter, Mr. Buffet describes the successes Berkshire Hathaway achieved in the recent unstable economy. Then he writes:

That’s the good news. But there’s another less pleasant reality: During 2008 I did some dumb things in investments. I made at least one major mistake of commission and several lesser ones that also hurt. I will tell you more about these later. Furthermore, I made some errors of omission, sucking my thumb when new facts came in that should have caused me to re-examine my thinking and promptly take action.

Who wouldn't trust this guy? He skips the bull and tells it like it is.

So if you're eager to start writing what you mean, here's my advice to you: Invest an hour this weekend in your own portfolio. Read Warren Buffet's Shareholder Letters.

And put that inspiration to work in the next letter you write.

The Spirit of 76

2009-04-30T08:13:00.003-05:00

Happy Birthday, Willie!

A San Francisco Treat

2009-04-29T13:49:00.015-05:00

Just a few weeks away! The IABC World Conference June 7-10 in San Francisco.

You can not miss these four days of mind-expanding opportunities with 1,600 communication practitioners from 40 countries.

Choose your sessions by topic:

Change Management
Communication Leadership
Employee Communication
Global Trends
Marketing & Brand
Public Relations
Strategy & Counsel

Or, choose your sessions by day:

Sunday, 7 June
Monday, June 8
Tuesday, 9 June
Wednesday, 10 June

You'll have the opportunity to hear from dozens of world-class speakers. Here are a few:

All together now: How collaboration can change your world
Blair Christie is senior vice president of corporate communications for Cisco.

Sustainable leadership
Robert Swan, OBE, is a polar explorer, environmental leader and special envoy to the director of UNESCO.

Finding your passion changes everything
Sir Ken Robinson, a sharp mind and engaging story-teller. He speaks brilliantly about creativity, innovation, education and human resources.

I'll be presenting a 75-minute session on Sunday afternoon called The Five Big Ideas. Stop by and see me!

It's going to be a fantastic four days. Register here

See you in San Francisco!

Bare.

2009-04-03T20:52:00.004-06:00

It's a new era. We finally have an articulate, elegant, intelligent president representing us. The corruption and blatant disrespect for humanity we've suffered is diminishing. We are beginning to understand the value of being real.

So I invite you to bare your soul. Show us a part of your real self. That part of you you might not reveal to just anyone. When you're in the zone. When you're yourself.

No apologizing. No editing. We want to see the real you.

Who are you?

Take a break. It's good for your mind.

2009-04-02T16:06:00.002-06:00

The Audacity of Hope II

2009-04-01T09:39:00.005-06:00

John Sturtevant awarded $2.5 million grant to improve our nation’s poor writing.

April 1, 2009 – Washington DC -- The National Recovery and Reinvestment Bill contains many spending provisions related to education. Among them, it reportedly provides $2.5 million in Title III funds to help improve the clarity of communication in federal and state agencies, as well as the private sector. Confirmed additional funds have been allocated for educational technology, child care, and Head Start.

At a recent news conference, Aldo Arlecchino, Distribution Manager for the Federal Allocations Committee, which handles fund distribution commented on the $2.5 grant, which may be awarded to Sturtevant as early as this week.

“There are basically three things we need to do right now to get our country back on a responsible track" said Mr. Arlecchino. "First, we need to prevent the economy from collapsing. Second, we need to protect jobs and ease people’s fiscal pains. And third, we need to boost communication skills among the tens of thousands of government and private-sector employees who are still working to keep the economy going strong.”

“We assessed literally hundreds of options over the past eight months,” said Mr. Arlecchino. “Our choice to spearhead this critical task is one of our country’s leading experts in clear thinking and persuasive writing, John Sturtevant. I am confident Mr. Sturtevant is eager to help guide us toward the goal we all have in our hearts and in our thoughts. This new era in our nation’s history must be marked by clear, articulate communication from those who are leading us in this recovery.”

“I would be honored and proud to accept this challenge,” said Sturtevant. “A grant of this scale could allow me to reach out to thousands of business leaders around the globe. We at The Writing Workshop are very excited by this opportunity to give business people the confidence and skills they need to think clearly and write what they mean.”

“I also recognize this may be only a first step in an ongoing recovery effort,” added Sturtevant. “Our goal is to raise awareness and instill a sense of responsibility and commitment among our business leaders, managers, and employees in English-speaking parts of the world.”

Raising the standard of corporate communication, executive compensation, and excessive bonuses are first steps in establishing the accountability that has been missing from the corporate sector.

“This is a long-awaited move in the right direction,” said Mr. Arlecchino. “In addition to positive steps like our agreement with Mr. Sturtevant, we have designed other measures aimed at improving the way our business people communicate.”

Mr. Arlecchino emphasized that the package will feature long-term measures for accelerating development of new technologies to improve efficiency and for turning our country’s vibrant business writing training industry into money-making businesses globally.

Today’s announcement comes amid growing realization that fighting the war on legalese, bureaucratic mumbo-jumbo, and vague, cluttered, confusing, overly-technical business writing style will take more than the economic packages the government has crafted since August, even with this $2.5 million grant.

The NRRB includes several provisions related to executive communication skills. It requires all recipients of TARP funds to meet clear writing and presentation standards as established by the Communications Secretary. Additionally, the legislation mandates a nonbinding shareholder vote on executive compensation for institutions that have received TARP funds. The bill also includes limits on compensation and bonuses, recovery of bonuses, and prohibition of golden parachutes.

Let The Sun Shine.

2009-03-25T10:03:00.001-06:00

Hats Off To Our Founding Mother

2009-03-04T10:15:00.004-06:00

Happy National Grammar Day Martha!

Celebrate here.

Domino’s got sauce.

2009-02-27T19:05:00.018-06:00

Mamma mia! Domino’s Pizza delivers an awesome online ordering experience.

Tonight my son Andrew and his friend Noah asked for pizza. Domino’s pizza. Now, we've been Star Pizza regulars for 30 years. They're the best in town. But tonight, what the heck, I'm feeling lazy. I want to play my guitar, and Domino's delivers. So I Googled Domino's, picked my location, and started my order. All within about 45 seconds.

And man, do they ever deliver! Domino’s online ordering has me drooling. Not only is it easy. It's fun!

As I start my order, they show me a picture of my pizza, crust only. Then, as I add cheese and sauce and pepperoni, my pizza takes shape right before my eyes. I mean, it's as if I'm watching Mario toss and pour and slice.

Except this time, it's Jose. How do I know? Domino's tells me so.
And they let me monitor his progress from order to oven to delivery. So I can watch as it's tossed, topped, baked, and boxed. All with a warm glowing pizza meter.

Not only that, Domino's gives me the current time, the store address and phone number, my order number, my order details, and delivery time. PLUS, they ask me how they're doing with a friendly rating system that makes it easy for me to gripe or praise.

And they ask me if I'd like salad or garlic bread. Yeah right, like my ten-year-old eats salad. (Note to Domino’s - next time, ask me the eater's age. You could've sold me a chocolate brownie.)

I gotta say, I'm impressed. And, more importantly, I'll be back the next time the kids say "pizza please!"

Heads up online retailers: Want to take a giant step in customer loyalty? Order a pizza from Domino’s tonight.

You'll take home some extra savory sauce you can use to spice up your own online ordering process.

Buon appetito!

Nuts.

2009-02-25T12:55:00.004-06:00

When I drive my son to his school in the morning
we usually take the low road.
Today he suggests we take the high road,
so we do.
More traffic
but no lights.
We zip in and out,
windows open,
eating pistachios.
We play a game.
He hands me a pistachio
and asks me to open it.
I scrunch up my face,
make groaning sounds,
my arms shake as I struggle
with all my might
to pry apart the shell.
And I do,
but I pretend I can't.
I hand it back to him
and say
it's too tough for me, you'd better try it.
He takes the shell carefully
from my hand
so he won't disturb the loose halves
and he scrunches up his face
and he makes strong boy sounds
and he gently lets the halves fall apart
in his hand.
And he says
Papi I did it!
And we both laugh.
Then he hands me
another pistachio
and says can you open this for me?

My day is fulfilled.

Peep Yo

2009-02-11T22:37:00.010-06:00

Our language is like a river. And, as the Greek philosopher, Heraclitus said “You can not step into the same river twice; for other waters are ever flowing on to you.”

And man, does English flow. Structure, style, words – the mechanics of our language change continually. Words slip out of usage.

New words drop into our language.

Words change their meaning. Even within one sentence.

If I say to you “I was so tired last night, it seemed like just as I turned the lights off, the alarm went off."

You’d know I was in the dark listening to an incessant beeping. Off means on. And off means off. In the very same sentence!

Then there’s one of my favorite words - funky. Beginning in the early 17th century, funky meant having a bad smell. At the end of the 1930s its meaning did a 180. Funky was said of things that were satisfying, impressive, or generally approved of.

By the 1950s funky meant unpretentious, down to earth, laid back, rooted in the blues. Then, in the ‘70s funky was the ultimate dance groove.

Today, funky can mean shoddy and mismatched, or more likely, foul-smelling. The word came full circle in four hundred years.

Have you read Beowulf lately? Written by an unknown author sometime between the 8th and 11th centuries. It is an early form of English, but hardly recognizable today.

Modern English began to take shape in the late 1500s. But for a couple of hundred years there was no consistent spelling or pronunciation. In fact, standardized spelling didn’t appear in Europe until Samuel Johnson published his dictionary in 1755. In America, we waited another seventy-three years before Noah Webster gave us standard spelling with his dictionary in 1828.

Think of it! We’ve languished in consistent spelling for a mere 180 years! And even now, there are some 120 Modern English dialects around the world, which include widely varying sound forms and word meanings.

Add to that accents, colloquialism, jargon, and idioms. It’s no wonder you have a rough time digesting your Glaswegian bloke’s ra patter. And he shrugs his shoulders at y'all's Texas drawl.

New! First time in English - The gender-neutral pronoun.

Speaking of new words, kudos to the kids in Baltimore who invented a new meaning for the expression “Yo”.

Thanks to them, we no longer have to suffer the embarrassment of saying “he or she”, “him or her”, or “they” when we mean an individual rather than a group.

So think about this elusive changing nature of our language as you prepare those PowerPoint slides for your next quarterly budget report.

You might have a Vice President or two in your audience who are thinking:

Yo, peep, yo o, noo thit yez ‘uv been telt aboot the wye thit Glesca punters yaze ra patter don’t yooz bloks try in’ make iz look luk eejits thit cannae talk right oan yer fancy high falutin’ American.

Or so they say.

Hobnob with hoi polloi. Mingle with minions.

2009-02-03T20:07:00.009-06:00

(you'll be in good company)

IABC Business Writing Conferences

26–27 March
Hyatt at Olive 8
Seattle, Washington, USA

7–8 May
The Allerton Hotel
Chicago, Illinois, USA

Depends

2009-01-30T20:59:00.006-06:00

People read what you write through their filter called “Compared to what?” How does what you just wrote fit with other things they know in their lives.

As we read things throughout our day, we assign meaning to the words. Then we give value to that meaning. And we make a judgment about that value – to make a decision one way or another. All within milliseconds. And all based on what we already perceive to be true.

Albert Einstein was curious about this idea:

Are things in life consistent and predictable?
Or do we determine the state of things depending on our perspective?

All of us make tens of thousands of decisions every day based on our perception of meaning and how that meaning fits with what we already know or perceive in our lives.

For example, think of that time you were sitting at a red light. Suddenly, you stomped on the brake pedal. You knew something was moving, but for a split second, you weren’t sure if it was your Prius or the other guy’s Honda.

That, in one sense, is relativity. You are only able to determine motion – the Honda, by first determining non-motion – your Prius.

Time and space are relative.
Suppose you're standing in a subway car. You stand at one end of the car, and idly bounce a tennis ball to your friend who stands at the other end about nine feet away. He catches the tennis ball, and bounces it back to you.

Let's say you throw the ball at 45 feet per second or about 30 mph. So the ball takes 0.2 seconds to reach your friend.

Then he throws it and it takes 0.2 seconds to bounce back to you. The tennis ball’s round trip takes 0.4 seconds.

Now, the subway starts moving. Suppose it gets up 60 feet per second or 40 mph. You and your friend continue to play catch, and the tennis ball continues to travel 18 feet round trip, taking about 0.4 seconds to go back and forth.

Now, imagine I am standing by the side of the track watching you pass by. I see you through the subway car window, tossing the ball back and forth. I would agree that it took 0.4 seconds from the time you threw the ball to the time you caught it again.

But, I wouldn’t agree the ball traveled only 18 feet round trip. To me, in the 0.4 seconds it took the ball to travel from one side of the subway to the other and back again, the train traveled close to 30 feet.

From my perspective, the ball traveled about 30 feet in the same 0.4 seconds – that’s about 75 feet per second or 50 mph.

So for me, the tennis ball is moving faster than it is for you.

Who is right?

We both are.

Think about this idea the next time you end your email with the lackluster cliché: “I look forward to hearing from you ASAP.”

It’s very likely your reader’s “S” is a lot farther away than yours!

Getting good mileage.

2009-01-28T20:00:00.008-06:00

A new client, Cara, sent this to me today:

I am not a good writer. I am good at generating ideas, giving direction, and structuring outlines...(but) I am not good at grammar, and I am the worst speller on this side of the Mississippi.

I replied:

Well then you’ve got the hard parts down. Grammar and spelling do not make you a good writer any more than using 10W-40 makes you a good driver – on either side of the Mississippi.

Cara's concern is a real one. Her grammar and spelling are an important part of the way she communicates with her clients and manages her employees. Just like using good-quality motor oil in her BMW will help her engine last longer.

But she also misses the point about clear writing. If Cara had impeccable grammar, flawless spelling, and murky writing that obscured vague ideas, she'd be a weak, ineffective manager.

But she's not. She's smart, tactful, insightful, and her staff respects her thinking.

My advice to Cara: focus on communicating your ideas clearly by using words with intention. Then, clean up your writing by reading it out loud and hiring a proofreader. Oh, and keep a copy of Grammar Snobs are Great Big Meanies at your desk.

Plus, hey. She got Mississippi right. How bad a speller can she be?

How to start writing.

2009-01-06T11:51:00.005-06:00

This little tool is contrary to my teaching that writing is not a process of filling up space.

But, it's so delightfully simple and clever, I had to share it with you.

Try it! 1ne 2wo 5ver

Breakfast of Champions.

2008-12-23T09:48:00.003-06:00

I pulled in to the Stop n’ Go this morning about 8:15 to buy some gum. There were four or five pick ups and vans parked out front. Inside, working guys were lined up at the register. Plumbers, roofers, electricians, carpenters. They all had tall-boys in their hands.

Catching a buzz before they fire up their nail guns and floor buffers. I chuckled. And for a moment, I felt a tinge of envy.

Perspective.

2008-12-18T09:27:00.002-06:00

"We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are."
— Anaïs Nin

Remember that idea the next time you sit down to fire off an email to your colleague.

All your base are belong to us.

2008-12-16T16:53:00.012-06:00

The Person I Secretly Admire, Christina who recently started a blog-with-a-clever-name has decided I am worthy of a tag.

Her weapon of choice is a meme. The Internet version of a chain letter. This one is agonizingly called 7 Things You Didn't Know About Me.

Heavens to Murgatroyd Christina, do you really think I've nothing better to do? Or that anyone really cares to know 7 Things About Me?

I'm only doing this because I like you. At least I used to.

Here goes.

1. I worked as an elevator operator at Magram's department store in Burlington Vermont. Not a bad job. Had its ups and downs.

2. In 1973 I streaked with two friends across the Britt's parking lot in Springfield Vermont. I'm not sure anyone saw us.

3. I once faked (impressively) a British accent to impress a cute girl I'd met on a bus.

4. Six months later, while I was working as the doorman at Finnigan's Pub in Burlington, she came in.

5. I forgot I'd faked the British accent and mumbled "Hi! We met on a bus a few weeks ago!" She looked at me for a long minute, then just turned and walked away.

6. I gave $500 to a couple of con men. Yup. Went right to my bank and withdrew the cash then handed it over to them.

7. I am the only person I know who has never seen Gone With The Wind.

I don't know 7 people who I want to annoy enough to tag here.

The legal copy:

• Link your original tagger(s) and list these rules in your post.
• Share seven facts about yourself in the post.
• Tag seven people at the end of your post by leaving their names and the links to their blogs.
• Let them know they’ve been tagged.

I love my little blue gadget.

2008-12-16T12:45:00.010-06:00

I'm a 21st Luddite. That's right. I don't own an iPod. Instead, I still listen to vinyl albums. And I buy CDs.

Now, albums are very sensual. I like to slip them out of their smooth worn jackets, and nestle them on the turntable. Then lift the tone arm (gently wiping off the bits of dust bunched on the needle, with my finger) and lay it gently on the record.

I get great pleasure watching the tone arm glide up and down with the undulations of the lightly warped record. And some songs just don't sound right without the pops and the skips.

On the other hand, CDs are clean and anonymous. Shiny and smiling. I put the CD on my player's tray, and push play. The tray slides into the player. And that's it. The CD magically disappears. I can't see it spin. There's no dusty needle to pick at. Mysteriously, light makes music.

CDs do have a downside. I used to bring home a new CD, eager to pop it in and rock out. But the frustration of getting it out of its shrink-wrap and label was enough to send me straight to the Apple store.

That's why I like my little blue gadget.

I got mine as a giveaway at a tradeshow booth. It sort of looks like a half-dollar-size blue hockey puck. But it has a tiny, cleverly disguised blade hidden along one edge.

I just slide it along the label edge of my new CD and this little gizmo neatly cuts the shrink wrap and the sticky label in one smooth swipe. Then in seconds, I'm snapping open the jewel case and prying the CD loose from its throne.

This little gadget makes listening to new CDs a heck of a lot easier then scrolling through menus and playlists on my wife's iPod Nano.

I just wish I knew where to buy another one. That way I'd have one for the living room, and one for the car.

Dang. Just got an email from Apple. The iPod Touch is on sale. Maybe it is time to explore the soul of that clever music machine.

Listen to an excerpt of this story on NPR.

What I'll be giving this holiday.

2008-12-10T12:07:00.007-06:00

I encourage you to do the same. Give an XO to a child here: www.amazon.com/xo

Learn more here: www.laptop.org

This is incredibly fun.

2008-12-10T11:55:00.003-06:00

Turn up your volume and create your vibe!

Click to play: Orbs

My hang up.

2008-12-09T13:25:00.004-06:00

Seriously, you know what I miss? Hanging up the phone. I mean actually placing the heavy mouthpiece and earpiece handset back on the phone cradle.

It was such a resolute pleasure. I am finished with this call now.

Watching the two pistons on the base happily receding into their cocoons. Pushing them up and down with my index finger, just to feel the sturdy springs' resistance. The resonant clumpty clump as the handset nestled onto its resting place.

Oh! And making a call. What an aural delight! The thissssssssptptptptptpt of the graceful rotary dial as it willingly glided around the numbers...seven one three...what poetry! Thisssssssssptptptptpt.....thissptt....thisssptptpt.....

Ahhhh...the good ol’ days.

Well, I guess nostalgia ain’t what it used to be.

cul8r g2g txt 2 my home slice.

You gotta try this.

2008-10-29T14:55:00.003-06:00

Make your own here!

Mowing

2008-10-28T15:45:00.007-06:00

Most people on my street have a yard guy who cuts their grass.

That yard guy looks happy. I can see he likes his work. He brings his dogs with him. An Irish Setter and a Black Lab. They lay in the shade under his pickup truck while he mows the lawns around the neighborhood.

He moves at a smooth, even pace. Mowing, trimming, sweeping. His power mower leaves broad diagonal lines across the lawns. One dark green, the next light green. I guess a lawn is like a Hush Puppies shoe. When he mows in one direction, the individual blades of grass stand up and reflect the light, making them look pale green. While the blades of grass that were mowed in the opposite direction lay close to the ground, and so reflect less light and look dark green.

He scoops the leaves and grass into black plastic bags and places them neatly next to the driveway at each house he cares for. When he’s finished, the lawns look manicured and content. Waiting for their owners to come home.

I don’t have a yard guy. I used to, but he stopped showing up. I sometimes wonder if our yard was too small for him. Not worth his trouble.

So I mow our small lawn. I bought a push mower. One without an engine. It’s gentler. I wanted it because I remembered when I was a kid my father had a push mower. It had a long wooden T-shaped handle with rounded ends that felt smooth and comfortable on my hands. And it smelled like old wood and lubricating oil.

I liked the thwackity thwackity sound it made as he pushed it back and forth across our yard. I remembered the fresh green smell of newly cut grass. And the way the pieces flew from behind the mower’s six rotating blades like bright green sparks, and lay in an intricate puzzle on the lawn. I would lay in the grass where my dad had mowed and examine the fragrant clippings.

It wasn’t easy for me to find a push mower when I went out looking for one this past June. I stopped by one of those big home supply superstores. The clerk was a high school kid. He didn’t know what I meant when told him I wanted a push mower. He looked at me for a few seconds. As if he thought I was trying to give him a hard time. Then he mumbled something and pointed to the selection of power mowers. “No,” I said. “I want one without an engine.” He just stared at me and said, “I don’t know what to tell you man.” And then he turned away with a look of pity on his face.

Then a few days later, I was driving past a bike repair shop in the Heights, and sitting there in front of the shop was a push mower. A red one. The bike shop guy said it had never been used. The blades and wheels were covered in a plastic wrapper. I carried the mower over to a small patch of grass at the side of the building. When I unwrapped the plastic, I noticed there were bits of clumped grass lodged along the axle near the blades. “Well, I think an old lady used it once or twice,” the bike dude told me.

I pushed the mower a few times across the little patch of lawn near the shop. And I watched the pieces of cut grass fly behind the blades. The mower’s handle was made of lightweight metal tubing. And the handle grips were plastic, not smooth, rounded wood like the one from my childhood.

It did make a sort of thwackity sound as I pushed it. But because it was made of aluminum, not maple and forged steel, the sound of its blades spinning and cutting the grass was pallid and thin. It couldn’t resonate through the maple and steel, up along the handle and into my hands. It didn’t send a gentle rhythm to my fingers, in a way that let me know how neatly and cleanly it cut. But it was the only push mower I could find, and I knew the grass in my yard was getting pretty long.

So I use it once or twice a week. And I've learned to appreciate the timbre its metal tubing produces when I push the mower at just the right speed along the yard.

If you happen to see a maple-handled push mower at a garage sale, let me know, will you?

Stopping By Some Words On A Summer Evening

2008-10-25T13:24:00.001-05:00

Whose words these are I think I know
I’m without a dictionary though,
It will not help me writing here
To craft the thought I’d like to show.

My little brain must think it queer
To write with no thesaurus near
Between the brain and snow-white page
the brightest moment might appear.

I give my keyboard keys a stroke
to ask for fire, spark and smoke,
I search my brain most inner deep,
to discover there what ‘twill evoke.

Alas, comes forth a peep
From inner most, and darkest deep
My brain yearned for a warm wet steep
Now I’ve pages to go before I sleep
I've pages to go before I sleep.

Interview.

2008-10-24T08:36:00.003-05:00

So you want to be a writer?
Yes.

What does it mean to you - “To be a writer”?
To use the verb in three tenses

The verb ‘to write”?
Yes. To say —I wrote, I am writing, I will write.

How do you know, when you say that...umm...that you are really being the thing.
The writer?

Yes. How do you know this?
How does one know anything?

Well, we aren’t speaking of...
Right, but there’s an obvious correlation between the philosophy of pure knowledge and the craft...or art...of expression, in this case the written or spoken word.

How do you mean?
Until one has experienced each of these...by that I mean learned them from doing and being them...failure and success...we learn from both, until then we can’t be the thing. All this is contingent upon awareness of the being and not of the doing. As with meditation, when one is not thinking about, but actually being the doingness, then one has fulfilled the knowledge...or rather begun to experience the knowledge of the thing.

So, writing is like meditation?
In a sense, yes. There is no state apart from the self that is called meditation, it is a state of being...a higher state some call it...but it is a part of the self that has to be realized. We are not encouraged, as we grow, to understand ourselves. In many ways we are encouraged to be partial beings. Just as we are taught that communicating is something we do that is apart from us...not a part of us. If we were taught to be whole then we would be able to express ourselves quite clearly. We would be artists.

But then art as we know it would not exist.
The world as we know it would not exist.

So you want to be a writer?
Yes.

What does it mean to you?

"P.S. Your blog is sadly out of date - so much for using you as my role model."

2008-10-13T21:32:00.028-05:00

I want to be a role model for Christina Grossgart.

My pal and Someone I Secretly Admire, Christina has recently started a blog-with-a-clever-name.

Now, on one hand, I’m thinking “Jeez CG, it’s about time.”

On the other hand, (this one) I’m thinking “Yippee, another resource of thoughtful and creative stimulation for my busy brain from an Insightful Communicator!"

But underneath all that, I’m asking myself:

“Do blogs really offer any true social, business, intellectual, spiritual, or emotional value?"

I mean, from my experience, reading blogs is sort of like browsing the magazine rack at Borders. I hear myself muttering lots of “huh” and “cool” and “wow”.

And that’s nice. It’s a pleasant way to use up an hour or so of the hours I’m allotted in my life.

But there’s also lots of page flipping going on. Skimming right past the fifty-seven links to the Blogger’s Friends’ blogs-of-significant-social-impact. Even though I try hard to avoid slipping into the petty gotta-have-it-now-baby-boomer-50ish-consumer-iPhone-using-TM’er, I still want something more from nearly every blog I read. (Christina G's excluded, of course).

Oh woe.

Maybe it’s just me being a 50-year-old guy. Sometimes I can’t quite figure out if I’m living in the 70’s or the ‘00s.

The blogisfaction thing is an elusive muse. Where’s the magical place? That moment when I’ll feel I’ve read just enough. Like eating sushi. I’m not hungry, but I’m not full either. I’ve got a nice salty essence on my tongue. And my palate is clean. I have a healthy sense of contentment.

Point me to a blog that’s really exciting. The one you can’t wait to read every morning. The one that makes you smile and say "Ahhhhhh" like that first slurpy sip of steamy coffee.

(I Stumbled Upon this blog today. Made me laugh out loud.)

Maybe blogs are simply entertainment. Like the comics. Some are inane. Some are classic.

Some blogs are hot,

Oh Heavens to Betsy.

Is it possible I can’t be a role model for Christina Grossgart? Is the world so chock-full of intelligent, hip, and sexy bloggers, that I’m destined to the B-side forever?

(By the way, how long is your browser’s bookmark list?)

And then, if my blogging habits weren’t bad enough, there’s my struggle with plastic bottles. Last week, while we were chatting at the IABC Business Writing Conference in Chicago, Christina tells me her household uses NO plastic bottles.

“What?” I stammer. “None? Not a one? No bottle of Joy at the kitchen sink? No L’Oreal Tearless Shampoo in the shower? Not a single big gulp of Sparkletts Purified in the ol’ Suburban cup holders?"

“Nope,” she smirked. “Not one.”

Jeezum crow. The guilt surged to my temples.

I muttered something about invisible landfills and the relative insignificance of the mere thousand years it takes for a twelve-ounce Poland Spring bottle to find its way back to Bangor. Then, I scurried back to the roomful of eager conference attendees waiting for me, tail between my legs.

But I have to use plastic bottles, with the cap tightly closed, or my cat will drink my water during the night.

Gosh, will you look at the time? Andrew is waiting for me to read him a bedtime story.

I'll recycle this bottle idea another day. But I have to ask:

"Does recycling really work? Does it really matter if I lug my tub o’ twelve ouncers to the curb every Thursday so the guys in the diesel-belching Peterbilt 379 can carry it away?"

Next time though, I’d rather talk about the theory of relativity and trains. Which, by the way, are more fuel efficient than your Prius.

It's time.

2008-10-13T14:18:00.001-05:00

Yes We Can.

My sons, the future, and your vote.

2008-10-10T11:03:00.004-05:00

Watch this.

A lesson from my son.

2008-07-25T16:54:00.013-05:00

Just back from a month in Italy.

As usual, I began our vacation struggling with the fear of being unproductive. My anxiety reached its peak when I arrived at our hotel in Salina to discover they had no Internet access.

Ack! Sweaty palms. Tingly feet. Shortness of breath. Shudder.

I pace. I fidget. I drum my fingers. I hem and haw.

Poor, poor pitiful me. A victim of our productivity-obsessed society that scoffs at those of us who spend even a single afternoon without an agenda to accomplish.

“Leave me alone!” I yell at the pestering hobgoblins tapping on my skull.

And look there! My twelve-year old son. He just sits. Staring at a tree. “Come!” I yelp. “Do something useful!” I plead. Cleverly transferring my guilty weight to his gentle shoulders.

“But Papi," says Alex. “I’m listening to the birds, joyfully.”

A wave of pure enlightenment engulfs me.

My shoulders relax. My scowl turns upside down. I sit, close my mouth, open my eyes and ears.

Richard Koestner, a psychologist who studies motivation at McGill University in Montreal tells me, "The critical issue in our society is whether a given behavior is self-endorsed rather than pressured and compelled. A person who has chosen not to pursue many goals may be quite content if that decision reflects his core personality and values.”

That’s right dammit! I CHOSE to be on vacation with my family!

And the lesson I learned from my wise twelve-year-old son will stay with me forever.

So today, choose to listen to the birds. Joyfully.

Dude!

2008-06-23T20:34:00.006-05:00

It is d-u-d-e or d-o-o-d, the spelling not having been distinctly settled yet. Nobody knows where the word came from, but it has sprung into popularity within the past two weeks, and everybody is using it. The word “dude” is a valuable addition to the slang of the day.
-- The Brooklyn Eagle, 25 February, 1883

So long George. Have one hell of a drive on the parkway.

2008-06-23T08:09:00.009-05:00

"There are nights when the wolves are silent
and only the moon howls."

George Carlin
1937 - 2008

My Son The Drummer

2008-06-21T11:59:00.002-05:00

Andrew's first concert at Camp Jam. He rocks!

John Sturtevant for President

2008-06-17T20:08:00.000-05:00

If you can't join 'em, beat 'em.

The Best Fried Chicken In The World

2008-06-15T18:02:00.006-05:00

I'm not kidding.

It's worth the trip.

Max's Wine Dive.

(Plus on top of that, it's where I celebrated my 50th birthday.)

I'm talking 'bout a revolution.

2008-05-20T12:09:00.000-05:00

Read it here.

Teach your children well.

2008-05-08T10:08:00.009-05:00

During The Writing Workshop, I talk about how everyone in the room is brilliant. Each person sitting there listening to me was born a creative genius.

But then, sadly, our schools take that genius away from us. Our educational system replaces our creativity with misguided lessons on how to take tests.

(Creativity = "the process of having original ideas that have value".)

That mis-direction from our school system model extends into the business world. Your company hired you because of your unique, wonderful talent and insight. But then after a day or two, you're told not to do all that beautiful thinking again. Instead, you're told to fill-in templates, and follow paper-pushing processes, and meet arbitrary deadlines.

Let's change that. Let's dare to think. Let's show them what we're made of.

("If you're not prepared to be wrong, you'll never come up with anything original.")

Get some inspiration here:

Ponderful.

2008-05-08T10:00:00.001-05:00

Big Questions

The Big Word

2008-04-26T11:03:00.003-05:00



Spare change.
2008-02-28T13:24:00.006-06:00
A year or so ago, Washington State Governor Chris Gregoire ordered all state agencies to adopt what she called “plain talk” principles. Since then, more than 2,000 state employees have attended training to help them write in clear, everyday language. And they’re seeing results in more than just concise memos.

For example, by revising one letter based on clear Persuasive Writing principles, the Department of Revenue tripled the number of businesses paying the sales tax on products they purchased out of state. As a result, the department collected over $800,000 extra in tax revenue.

“Simple changes can have profound results,” said Janet Shimabukuro, manager of the department’s taxpayer services program. “Plain talk isn’t only rewriting, it’s rethinking your approach and really personalizing your message to the audience and to the reader.”

That’s sweet music here at The Writing Workshop. Over the years we’ve been teaching Persuasive Writing  that helps business learn to think clearly and write what they mean. We encourage people to answer three fundamental questions before they actually start writing.

1.    Why am I writing?
2.    Who is my reader?
3.    What do I expect to accomplish?

Answering those simple questions will make a dramatic difference in what you say and how you say it. Here are seven more Clear Writing Principles for you.

Change is the only constant. Accept it.

The fact is, written and spoken language evolves over time. What used to be acceptable is now often confusing or archaic. In fact, some “rules” were never rules at all, but rather more like urbane legends (pun intended). For more enlightenment on real grammar rules, get the grammar book on this reading list.

I know some of you are about to cringe when you read the next sentence. But that’s something I’ll have to put up with. (See, I knew you’d cringe.)

In The Elements of Style, my pals Mr. Strunk and Mr. White tell me that it’s true, once upon a time, crusty old teachers told their students never to end a sentence with a preposition. Yet Strunk & White go on to say, “Not only is the preposition acceptable at the end … it is more effective in that spot than anywhere else.”

Thanks guys!

That preposition rule your eighth-grade teacher drilled into your head, like many so-called grammar rules, is a remnant of Latin grammar. It’s not a rule. And it doesn’t apply to modern American English.

What’s more, the experts don’t always agree on the rules – literally.

Take that word for example. Literally. You know when your co-worker Amanda says, “I, like, literally died when my boss caught me playing online poker.”

You roll your eyes say, “No, Amanda, you didn’t literally die. You’re literally alive, standing here telling me this.”

Well, turns out, Amanda may be more literal than you might think.

Take a look.

The Chicago Manual of Style says:

“Literally means ‘actually; without exaggeration.’ It should not
be used oxymoronically in the figurative sense…”

The Associate Press Stylebook agrees:

“Figuratively means in an analogous sense, but not
in the exact sense. Literally means in an exact sense.”

Two old reliable reference sources must be right, right?

Not necessarily.

Webster’s New World College Dictionary contradicts them:

“Literally is often used as an intensive to modify a word
or phrase that is being used figuratively.”


My preference is to use literally when I mean actually not sort of.  But that’s not based on a rule. It’s based on my desire to be clear to my reader above all else.

How do you handle business writing if the rules are elusive and evolving? Heed The Writing Workshop's Golden Rule of Business Writing: Be Clear. Above all else.

If you get mired in the muck of rules you’ll only confuse and annoy your readers.

Here’s a great example of confusing and annoying business jargon:

Before:

The Department of Labor and Industries has been notified that you did not receive the State of Washington warrant listed on the attached Affidavit of Lost or Destroyed Warrant Request for Replacement, form F242.

Here’s an example of clear writing:

After:

Have you cashed your Department of Labor and Industries check yet? The state Treasurer's Office informed us that a check we sent you has not been cashed.

To read the full story I mentioned earlier about the State of Washington’s “plain talk” mandate, and see more examples, here’s an article by Rachel La Corte of the Associated Press.

My goodness, will you look at the time? I’m going to meet my wife for lunch. So that’s all for now.

Over the next few days, think about the people in your company who churn out confusing writing all day long. And imagine the negative effect those bewildering reports and proposals and emails have on your clients and business partners.

Then, when you’re good and frustrated, and ready for change, give us a call to learn more about The Writing Workshop’s Clear Communication Training. We’ll turn your annoying co-workers into articulate communicators. Guaranteed.

Be clear. Literally!


Damn the bullets.
2008-02-20T14:05:00.011-06:00
The other day I was leading a 2-day workshop for a group of environmental engineers up in Maine. They are a great bunch of smart people. They even sacrificed a Saturday of skiing on seven inches of new powder to be with me.

But, I was struck by how literal they were.

Now, it's not unusual that people in my workshops want a prescription – an easy 10-step process with an establish set of rules that will guarantee they’ll win more business and communicate with ease.

Yet, many of these engineers in Maine were so entrenched in process, they had a tough time stepping outside their formulaic approach.

I heard questions like this:

“Um, if I’m writing a report to a town board of selectmen, and I want to describe the results of our groundwater assessment based on runoff from their seventeen acre reservoir, is it OK for me to use bullet points when I describe our findings using five different biosensors, three metabolic (Vibrio fischeri, Pseudomonas fluorescens 10568 and Escherichia coli HB101) and two catabolic (Pseudomonas putida TVA8 and E. coliDH5α), to identify areas where the availability and toxicity of pollutants is of most immediate environmental concern?”

Jeezum crow, how do I answer that?

I explained that my aversion to bullet points had little to do with the actual bullet mark – the “•”.

Instead, I explained, people most often use bullets to list vague data. Bullets almost always leave out the how, what, why, when, who – the very stuff the reader needs to make sense of the data listed in the bullet.

“Ah, OK…but what about when levels of Cr 20 to 30 times the maximum contaminant level (MCL) have been detected in the ground water beneath industrial sites, and Cd and Pb have been found at levels exceeding their MCLs where surface soils are clay-rich, and in sandy soils at more than 10 times their MCLs. Can I use bullet points to show how the high levels of Cr in ground water strongly suggest that the chromium is in a hexavalent form?”

"Yes," I answered. “You should always use bullet points in instances like that.”

“Oh OK,” replied the eager engineer. “That’s good to know.”

Jeepers.

I want to help people understand that communication is a variable. It’s a moving target. It’s like a river. It changes. I want people to think about the ideas they learn and ask themselves, “How can I apply this idea to this particular project I’m working on this week?”

I want my students to adapt what they learn to the tasks they work on day-to-day.

The Writing Workshop is more of a philosophy than a method. It’s more of an approach, than a formula.

My experience shows that my approach to helping change the way people think about communication is more valuable to them in the long run. I believe that if I can change a person’s attitude about communication, I’ll help him develop insight and clarity that a prescription will never achieve.

What do you think?


I catch no ball, leh?
2008-01-26T04:20:00.001-06:00
I'm in Singapore. Presenting a series of full-day clear communication workshops for the Far East Organization and the Asia Business Forum here and in Malaysia. I love this place. Maybe I can convince my wife to pull the kids out of school, put the house on the market, plan a big yard sale, and move here.

In the meantime, here are a few thoughts on speaking your reader's language. You know I talk about that a lot. And I don't mean writing in Malay, or Cantonese, or Spanish. I'm talking about using words and expressions your reader understands.

That idea really hit home over the last few days. I'm working with the great mix of cultures, languages, and perspectives here in S'pore. These writers must develop a clear voice. An understandable vocabulary that transcends language and cultural boundaries.

I've found that every one of the participants in my workshops is burdened by having to conform to his or her organization's standards and templates. People tell me they want to communicate clearly, but their companies impose formats and style standards for proposals, emails, presentations – every kind of communication. And these standards stifle a person's ability to say what he means.

Each one of you was hired because you have a special, unique, precious quality that the other people who applied for your job didn't have. And yet, once you get settled on the  job, your company tells you to stop doing what you do so well, and start doing things the company way. Which is rarely the right way.

What a shame!

Companies around the world are missing out on opportunities to celebrate the wealth of insight and knowledge and perspectives sealed up in their employees' brains. Instead, for some crazy safety reason, these companies tell everyone to speak and act and write the same way. All in the name of some vague mission, vision, and values.

What a shame!

Pity us, the listener. The consumer. The investor. We have to struggle to make sense of the cloudy, muddy, murky river of boring, confusing, inane business jargon that flows from nearly every company's website, annual report, collateral, and executive's mouth.

So, I encourage you. I implore you. I beg you. Start speaking and writing with your own voice. Use your insight and skills to turn corporate jargon into human words about human ideas.

Like all business people, you're communicating to other humans. (Anyone who writes for non-humans, please ignore this blog post).

I understand that you have an obligation to keep some consistency with your company's established communication standards. But I also know you can find opportunities to throw out the boilerplate, meaningless jargon. And instead, use the talents that got you into your job. Speak the truth with your colleagues, clients, managers, customers, boyfriends, girlfriends, wives, husbands, kids – everybody in your life. Use your real voice. And say what you mean.

Ok that's it. I'm headed to the No Signboard for some Pepper Crab.

Yum seng!


Pleasurably drunk.
2007-12-19T15:01:00.001-06:00
I admit it. Bashlessly. I am addicted to the lure of lucid language. The intoxicating temptation of clear writing. It’s a habit I’m neither ashamed of, nor one I wish to quit.

Two books I’m pouring through again make be giddy. Nicholson Baker’s The Mezzanine, and The Golden Gate by Vikram Seth.

I had stayed on the wagon for a while. Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve been too busy to languish in this private pleasure. Immersed instead in the caffeinated buzz of Edward Tufte’s three trophies: Envisioning Information, Visual Explanations, and The Visual Display of Quantitative Information.

But the urge for anecdote became more than I could bear. I craved a delirious distraction.

Not that fiction is my only fix. I’ve been sipping Language in Thought and Action by S.I. Hayakawa. An admirable, heady, subtly complex volume my colleague Don Ranly recommended. And I’m savoring The Elegant Universe, by Brian Greene

This liberating binge has reminded me how invigorating it is to imbibe in a healthy dose of narrative brew.

So take some time over the next few weeks. Reacquaint yourself with that comfy chair you’ve been neglecting. Pick an old favorite from the shelf. Dust if off. Wrap yourself in a willing suspension of disbelief. And toast this holiday season with a dram of pure pleasure.

Oh, and here’s one to slip in a stocking. The Book of Useless Information by Noel Botham. It’s a simple gift of wonderful huhs.

Cheers!


I lied to you.
2007-11-28T20:19:00.000-06:00
I promised you I'd talk about using your voice to express emotion. But I got distracted.

Today, on a Continental Airlines flight from Houston to San Jose, I sat next to a 40-something guy who sells switches. And we started talking about communication.

"You know, language is like a river," I said. "It changes continuously. It's not like the pyramids, sitting there majestic and ageless." We talked about how language is an evolving thing. It's not static. Most of the rules we learned in 8th grade are obsolete. There are new rules about how to communicate. New rules about how to use language.

He said to me, "Wow, I've never thought about it that way before."

Then we both went back to reading our magazines. I was reading Fast Company. I flipped to an article about FaceBook founder Mark Zuckerberg.

A minute later I said, "Take a look." And I pointed to a photograph of Facebook's leadership team. The photo shows a group of 20ish guys in t-shirts and flip-flops. "These guys are running a $10 billion dollar company," I said. "Do you speak their language?"

"Ummm, well." He replied.

So that's the seed I want to plant in your mind today. Do you speak your reader's language?

Here's another great article about Facebook.

If you're not paying attention to companies like this one – companies that are run by people who may not look and speak like you do – well then, you're drifting far, far away down the river.

That's the truth.



Tell me a story.
2007-11-07T12:58:00.002-06:00
I promised you I’d talk about knowing your topic. So here goes.

The idea of knowing a topic scares a lot of people. “But I'm not an expert!” they tell me.

That doesn’t matter.

You don’t have to be an expert. Rather, share some insight with your audience. (OK OK, please forgive me my own tagline - America’s Expert on Clear Writing. Robert Rosenthal gave it to me, and I liked it. So I’m sticking with the brand. More on branding later.)

Instead of fretting about your expertise, focus on telling a story. That means you define a beginning, a middle, and an end. You don’t have to tell every possible fact about your topic. Just the facts that make sense to your audience.

Find three ideas about your topic that you can weave into a compelling story. Don't be afraid to get personal. Be human. Show your soft side. Show your strengths. Show your view of life.

The other day, I heard an interview with Jerry Seinfeld on Fresh Air. Jerry talked about telling a story, and about knowing when to stop. You can listen to Fresh Air's Jerry Seinfeld interview here.

When you sit down to outline your next presentation. Find the beginning. Find the middle. And most importantly, find the end. Know when to stop.

Ask yourself this question: “What do I want my audience to learn?”

Oh, and turn off your monitor when you write. I have mine off now. It will feel weird at first, because you can’t see the words. But try it. You’ll discover a surprising sense of freedom.

You can turn it back on after you’ve finished, and fix the typos.

Next time we’ll talk about using your voice to express emotion. Yes, emotion. That’s a critical business skill.


Person to person.
2007-10-28T12:32:00.000-06:00
Ever heard the advice that if you want to connect with your audience, picture them naked?

It might be fun, but it won’t make you an effective speaker.

You’ll likely end up staring wide-eyed, with a sly snicker on your face, mumbling incoherently.

Instead, try this approach. Think of your audience as real people. With names. And families. And hobbies. Each person in your audience is a human. And each person wants you to succeed.

So engage your audience. Look them in the eye. Get out from behind the podium, and show them who you are. Smile at them.

You might be surprised at just how nice they really are. Even with their clothes on.

Next week, I’ll talk about the importance of knowing your topic.

You can learn more about Public Speaking training here: Speak Like You Mean It!


Fear #1
2007-10-17T21:38:00.000-05:00
It’s Monday morning. You have just been asked to stand up in front of a room full of people, and say something articulate. And you must do it with poise, charm, grace, humor, and intelligence.

Does the thought of it send a chill down your spine?

Fear not. I have a cure for you.

It’s called Speak Like You Mean It! It’s a full-day workshop designed especially for you. And it’s packed with new ideas and proven techniques that will have you presenting like a pro in no time.

 Speak Like You Mean It! combines improvisational acting exercises, public speaking techniques, story-telling principles, and script-writing guidelines to help you prepare and deliver with confidence. Plus you’ll learn the keys to creating effective PowerPoint presentations – the kind that will engage your audience, not put them to sleep.

Learn more about Speak Like You Mean It! here.

Check it out, and let me know what you think.





Yeah, right.
2007-10-15T11:52:00.000-05:00
Let me ask your opinion.

A couple of days ago, I received this announcement from the Houston chapter of Public Relations Society of America (PRSA):
Learning to Write with Clarity and Purpose: A Presentation Hosted by PRSA Houston's New Pros

...PRSA Houston's New Pros will host a writing workshop spotlighting the writing skills and techniques that strengthen your PR efforts! The presentation, led by Doug Williams of Fuse 5 Communications, will provide those new to the PR profession with the confidence and skills needed to communicate clearly and persuasively.

The writing workshop will offer an interactive learning environment and provides tips to think analytically, organize ideas, and prepare a logical piece of writing...

Now, here’s how I describe my Clear Communications Workshop on The Writing Workshop  site:  

(my logo)








(my tag line)
Learn to write with clarity & purpose.   

(my site description)     
Business writing training that gives you the confidence
and skills you need to communicate your ideas clearly
and persuasively - and take less time doing it.

(my workshop description)
...Through interactive learning techniques, your colleagues will gain the skills they need to think analytically, organize their ideas, structure a logical document, and communicate clearly...

When I contacted PRSA Houston to inquire about the...er...blatant borrowing, I heard back from Chris Lopez, a PRSA Houston committee member who wrote the announcement for PRSA Houston.

Chris claims:

“It must strictly be a coincidence because I spent some time putting this together.  I guess you can only say something so many ways.”

I mentioned to Chris that the similarity seemed beyond mere coincidence, and asked him if he had visited my site. He replied:

“I appreciate the nice e-mail, but I’m not aware of your web site.”

I pointed out to Chris that I am listed on the PRSA Houston Business Directory, and I am able to track visitor activity on my site. He replied:

“Well, I can’t apologize only to say that I picked words very similar to yours by accident.”

PRSA Houston has since changed the announcement copy on their website, but it still reeks of B.S. to me.

So what do you think?

Is Chris full of Bull, or is it that he simply “...picked words very similar to (mine) by accident.” 

On the other hand, what am I kvetching about? Plagiarism is the sincerest form of flattery, no?


Time.
2007-10-14T18:35:00.000-05:00
So here’s the thing. It seems nobody has enough time anymore. It’s crazy. I mean, we have tons of gadgets designed to free us up, and yet we’re tethered to our toys and don’t have the hours in the day to do what we used to take for granted.

I don’t have time to read all the stuff I want to read (translation: “I don’t make the choice to devote my time to reading the stuff I want to read.”)

Is it because I have 2 kids? Is it that I’m growing and running a business? Is it that I’m lazy?

I want to play my guitar more often. I want to run every day. (I won’t even list the languages I want to learn .)

Yup, I want to do a lot of things I don’t make the time to do. And here it is, 6:42 on Sunday night and I’ve accomplished only a fraction of my tasks for the day.

I don’t get it. What’s happened to time?

I’ve been blog-deficient too. Pecking out a measly two-posting-a-month.

And I’ve been wondering: How much is enough for each post?

I know bloggers who post one or two sentences several times a week. That doesn’t feel right to me. I’m compelled to write a few hundred words with every post. In The Writing Workshop, I argue that people love to read. Anyone who tells you he’d rather have 3 bullet points is lying.

I know from my years of writing direct mail that a well-written 6-page letter will pull better response than a 1-page letter.

So, here’s my question: Do you want more? Or less?

Oh, gee whiz, will ya look a the time? I gotta go.


Basta!
2007-10-01T13:19:00.000-05:00
Enough already! Please stop asking me:

“Are you going to teach us how to write concise emails?”

“Will you teach my engineers technical writing?”

“Are you going to teach our analysts how to write 4-pagers?”

“Do you teach our sales people how to write proposals?”

That’s not writing! That’s filling in forms.

Those templates your company has decided to call a proposal, or a market analysis, or a project report were designed to make it easier for the company, NOT for your readers.

And those words you put on the page are nothing more than arbitrary shapes. You give meaning to those shapes. But that meaning is different for different people.

Are you skeptical?

To test this idea, read this: 机の上に〜

Now, do you know where my book is?

Forget about the words.
We put shapes on the page, and we call them words, and charts, and graphs. And we assume our reader will look at those shapes and know exactly what we’re talking about. We naively assume the reader will assign the same value to our words and our bar charts as we do.

But that rarely happens as we hope.

So when you’re planning what to write, please forget about the words. Ignore the templates.

Instead, think of your writing as communicating your ideas. You don’t want your reader to pay attention to how the shapes (the words) look on the page.

Some of the best advice on clear writing comes from Stephen King’s autobiography “On Writing”. In it, he describes how he wants his readers to forget they’re reading.

That’s an admirable goal in business writing too. You want your reader to effortlessly follow the ideas in your proposal and see the value of signing your contract.

You don’t want them to sit around the conference table trying to translate your words and charts and spreadsheets into meaning.

Here’s a powerful question to ask yourself before you start writing:

“What do I want my reader to learn?”

Come up with clear answers to that insightful question, ask yourself if your reader will care about those answers. Once you’re confident you can communicate those ideas to your reader, then you’re ready to start writing.

E va bene cosi.


Word up.
2007-09-19T12:15:00.000-05:00
Just the other day, a couple of smart researchers at Princeton University told me that words do matter after all.

It seems that we make our daily choices – from the foods we eat to the laws we support – based on our perception of the value of words we see and hear.

Go figure. For years I’ve been telling people to forget about the words.

So how in the world do we forget about the words, when words make all the difference in the decisions we make?

Think of the ideas behind the words.

For example, the Princeton researchers invited two families for a cook-out. They bought a few pounds of ground beef and made big juicy burgers for everyone. They served the Watson family burgers made from 75% lean beef. But they plated up burgers for the Shelby family made from beef with 25% fat.

The Shelby’s were not happy. Their burgers tasted greasy and heavy. Meanwhile, the Watsons were happily munching away on their more heart-healthy meal.

Same beef. Different taste.

Reveal the invisible.
We use words as a way to show our readers what’s not apparent to them  – our ideas.

Words, after all, are merely shapes and sounds. They are confusing, inconsistent, and misleading. Words are also eloquent, sexy, and lyrical.

Yesterday I was walking through the Vancouver BC airport. As I passed by the line up of limo drivers holding signs for their riders, I saw several written in Japanese, and one written in Arabic. They were beautiful shapes. But not words to me.

As I strolled from my hotel to a restaurant last evening, I heard a dozen conversations from people on the street. Melodic trills, vowels flowing like a bubbling brook, harsh grunts, choppy consonants. It was delightful music. Yet, otherwise meaningless to my ears.

So why is it we so often use our words with the assumption that our reader or listener will understand the precise meaning we intended?

Instead, remember that your reader has to interpret your words to find their meaning. Just as if they were in another language. And we hope our readers will find the ideas we mean. But it’s a guessing game. And the rules change continually.

So Sturtevant’s Clear Writing Rule of the Day? When you’re thinking and planning and writing, forget about the words. Make your writing transparent. Get your ideas down in a way that will be clear to your reader. Speak your reader’s language. Give your reader relevance, context, and meaning.

Then, as you revise what you wrote, pay close attention to your words. Will they reveal the invisible to your readers?


What do you mean by that?
2007-09-04T12:39:00.000-05:00
Ever heard a colleague tell you “Just give me bullet points, I don’t have time to read.”

What she’s really saying is: “Make your ideas meaningful to me, or I’ll get bored fast!”

There’s a common misunderstanding in business communications about what it means to be concise.

In fact, new clients nearly always ask me: “Are you going to teach us how to write concise emails?”

“Ummm…well yes and no,” I reply.

Why the iffy answer? Because I’m skeptical about their definition of “concise”.

Here are a couple of dictionary definitions:

    Expressing much in few words; clear and succinct.

    Brief in form but comprehensive in scope.

And these dictionaries tell us succinct means:

    Showing or expressed with brevity and clarity, with no wasted words.

But I’m skeptical about the client’s question because experience shows me that when many people say “concise” they really mean “short” or worse, “bullet points”.

And bullet points are most often a lousy way to communicate.

Why?

Because too many people create bullet points like this:

• Sales Results Review
     • Comparative analysis

• Production vs. Customer Need
     • Quality initiatives

• Outlook for Q4

Sure, there only 12 words. But they don’t communicate much.

Think about how many boring presentations you’ve sat through where the presenter reads the slide while you stare at your handout, which is a copy of the slide.
Then the presenter moves on to the next slide. The agony continues for hours.
And there you sit, still foggy about Sales Results.

Your presentation should enhance, summarize, or augment your ideas – not repeat what you’re saying.

The best rule you can use to define what to say and how to say it is “Are my ideas clear to my audience?”

Instead of writing “Sales Results Review” write “Q4 Sales up 14% over Q3”.

Now your audience is poised for a story about this marvelous increase.

Forget the words, focus on your ideas. 
Your reader or audience couldn’t care less about you.*

As they sit watching you plow through your slides, and shuffle paper around the podium, they’re thinking:

      “What’s in this for me?” 
      “I’m hungry, what’s for lunch”? 
      “How much longer is this guy on?” 
      “Hmmm, I wonder if anybody more interesting emailed me, think I’ll check my Blackberry.”

Forget the bullet points. As you’re planning your presentation, ask yourself “What do I want my audience to learn?” Engage your audience with a story to make your facts relevant and meaningful to them. Here’s an excellent article on the power of storytelling in business.

Try it. If you forget about the words, and focus on your ideas, you’ll discover that your audience will put away their PDAs and start giving you all the time in the world.

*Isn’t it funny how so many people say “I could care less” meaning “I do care somewhat.” When they actually mean, “I care as little as possible – I couldn’t care any less than I already do!”



My way.
2007-08-22T13:48:00.001-05:00
I’m not a very good employee. Some people say I’m stubborn. Some call it supercilious. Others say I’m just plain bull-headed. No matter what you choose to call me, I like things done my way.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I enthusiastically seek advice. I respect insights from people with a different perspective or more experience than I have.

But over the years, I’ve also learned to trust myself. To take responsibility for my actions. To make decisions based on my hunches. To live with integrity. So if I do make a decision and I’m wrong, I have only myself to blame.

So why am I a terrible employee? I simply have no patience for business people who make stupid decisions based on their egocentric whims. Especially when those business people are expected to manage me. (OK, so my hunch is another guy’s whim. I get that.)

I can’t tolerate having to sit at my desk looking busy because it’s not yet five o’clock and I can’t be the first one out the door. I flinch when I recall managers who would check their watches when I came to work at 8:05 in the morning, never considering that I’d been working there until 2:00am that morning.

There’s a twisted mentality in among business people in this country who believe looking busy and working long hours are the keys to employee productivity. Bull. In fact, the opposite is true. Give your employees freedom to think. Most of them will do the right thing.

Think about why you hired Robert down the hall. I’ll bet a lobster dinner it was because he had something the other guy didn’t. Some indefinable difference that compelled you to like him and trust him more than the other candidates. So give him a chance to live up to your expectations!

I was flabbergasted by the management tactics I saw from the President at a start-up software company where I was VP of Marketing. I had little say in how he managed his sales people. But I winced every time he introduced a new pile of paperwork for his sales team.

Those eager sales people wanted more than anything to bring business in the door. But he wouldn’t let them. Instead, he suffocated them in busy work and trivial tasks. He micromanaged by shoving call reports, time sheets, quota lists, and worthless projections at them.

So what’d they do? They spent most of their day filling out forms instead of calling on prospects. This was in early 1999 and we were selling website development software. It’s hard to believe now, but a mere eight years ago, people weren’t quite sure what a website was and if their business needed one.

Instead of enlightening our freshman sales team about the incredible value of our website development software, he taught them how to fill out forms really well.

Respect, accountability, integrity, freedom, encouragement, reward, challenge. Those are how you keep your employees motivated and productive. If you manage people, show them they can trust you, and learn to trust them - above all else.

The ones who don’t deserve your trust will quickly float to the top and you can skim them away. The rest will astound you with their enthusiasm, new ideas, and willingness to do whatever it takes to achieve the success you defined together.

Want to develop great employees? Stop thinking of them as employees. They’re people. Smart, creative, enthusiastic people. And they want to do the right thing. Just like you.



Come to think of it.
2007-07-26T21:47:00.000-05:00
. 
I talk a lot about thinking.

Why?

Because it’s a highly underrated activity in most companies.

What?

That’s right. Most companies do not encourage their employees to think.

Rather, there’s a pervasive (or is it perverse?) mentality smogging the air at most every company in the land. It whines: “keep your nose to the grindstone (ouch) and get your job done and when you’re finished with that there’s more waiting and never ever leave early or stare out the window because people will think you’re being unproductive”.

What a shame.

They’re missing out on the very reason they hired you. Because you’re you and you’re not the other guy. They hired you because you Think Different (Thanks Apple) in a way the other job candidate couldn’t quite muster.

As a kid, I was an excellent stare-out-the-window student. My teacher would be at the chalkboard mumbling on about something or other, and I’d be happily, dreamily, staring out the window at the bright red Cardinal on the willow branch.

Waste of time? No way!

The funny thing is, our brains love it when we don’t try to think. That’s exactly when our gray matter will kick in and do its thinking thing.

Try it. The next time you take a five-hour drive, turn off your iPod or your iPhone. Turn off your radio, or your book on tape. And for godsake, turn off your cell phone. And just think.

The next time you take a a four-hour plane trip, skip the magazines, avoid the headphones, just sit. Stare at nothingness. Let your mind wander.

Yikes.

For many people this is scary. The lack of distraction is uncomfortable. But try it. You might surprise yourself at how brilliant you really are.

Just a thought.


Telesuffering.
2007-07-15T16:07:00.000-05:00
Man, was I reminded of a hard lesson this week. A telephone seminar just isn’t the same as a live one.

I presented a teleseminar of my 60-minute presentation. It was a fiasco. Well, not a total wreck. Not everyone among the 25 or so listeners hated it. But enough of them did to make me shrink like Elmer Fudd and scurry under the carpet.

What lessons did I learn?

#1 - I won’t expect a reaction from the listeners. No laughs. No sighs. No questions. No nods. No shifting in their seats. Silence.

#2 - I won’t ask questions of the listeners. They can’t reply without canceling each other’s voice out. Then no one dares utter a word.

#3 - That 3-second pause that lets a live audience percolate an idea for a few beats seems like 3 decades to a teleseminar listener.

So maybe I was naive. But I figured it’d be easy. I mean, I’ve sat through plenty of client calls around conference-room tables. What’s more, in my early days I was a radio announcer. I had two FM jazz shows on weekend nights, and a music, talk, and news show on AM radio during the week day. So I’ve spent hours talking over the airwaves.

Whack on the side of the head: The vocal subtlety, pauses, tone-shift, and smile-in-my-voice that worked so well on radio, was lost to them.

The body language, facial expressions, and tone I use when I deliver live are invisible to a teleseminar listener. I knew they couldn’t see me, but I discovered most listeners had their phones on speaker phone, which muffled my voice. So even my tone of voice meant very little to them.

Also, my pace of delivery over the phone has to be much faster than when live. No time for my usual “for instance” stories. Next time, I’ll state each point, and move on. With military precision.

And it goes both ways. Anybody giving a live presentation without the pauses, inflection, smiles, and a bit of swagger will put his audience to sleep in minutes.

But while this humbling experience took me by surprise, it also reminded me of the value of  my own advice: know your audience. I didn’t do that. Nada. I never once asked the moderator who would be among the listeners nor did I ask him about his experiences with the medium. In fact I never even thought about it.

If I had, I would’ve learned a few things about the nuances of my delivery.

So thanks for the reminder folks. Your brutal honesty was a good teacher.

Well, that’s spilled milk under the bridge. Time to move on.


Got to be real.
2007-07-05T17:10:00.000-05:00
Houston, Texas – I’m home. Or am I. Italy seemed more like home. But my stuff is here in Houston. Then again, Houston is not my home. I mean in the sense that I wasn’t born here. And I didn’t grow up here.

What do you say when people ask: “Where are you from?”

I never know quite how to respond.

I was born in Massachusetts. Then lived in upstate New York. Then moved to Vermont in the 3rd grade. I lived in seven different Vermont towns until just after high school.

Then I moved to Texas. I lived in Houston on and off for ten years. Every couple of years I’d move to another state. But I always ended up back here.

Then I met my wife. She’s from Rome, Italy.

We got married (I asked her to marry me a week after our first date) and lived in Houston for a few years. Then moved to Boston. Then to Rome. Then back to Houston.

Jeezum crow. I’m not a Vermonter. I’m not a Texan. I’m not an Italian. Honestly, given the ethical, social, and financial habits of our current leadership, I don’t feel much like an American these days either.

And I don’t work for a large corporation, so I don’t belong to a corporate community where I can share values and a common interest.

So how do I create my identity? And why does it matter?

It matters because clear communication relies on a clear voice. A sense of identity. And a willingness to speak with that voice.

I’m not talking about preaching a dogma. Instead, I mean that if you want to be heard among your peers, your colleagues, your managers, your clients & customers – your community – then speak with your own voice.

After all, that’s why you were hired.

That’s right. The person who hired you made the hiring decision because of who you are. Some gut feeling. Not because of some line item on your resume.

Trouble is, once we’re inoculated into the company fold, we often loose our sense of who we are. We’re convinced to fit in and do our jobs.

And that’s too bad. Because the result is a common vernacular of generic business communication that sends us reeling down the hall, dizzy with confusion and doubt.

So start speaking with your own voice. I’m not saying you ought to climb up on a soapbox and lecture the masses on your enlightened view of the world. I’m saying, don’t be afraid to say what you mean, exactly the way you want to say it.

Delete all the useless business jargon from your hard drive. Resist the urge to cut & paste that B.S. into your proposals and emails and reports.

And instead, learn to think clearly and write what you mean. Strive to THRILL yourself with what you write. I want your eyes to well-up with tears at the beauty and eloquence in your next proposal.

You may face some resistance. But that’s ok. You’re a visionary. And all visionaries are feared and taunted. Plow through that. Make mistakes. Be willing to look foolish from time to time. That’s what it takes to be real and honest and clear.

Those co-workers who are peeking around the wall, jeering at you? They’re doing it because they envy your freedom.

As Lene Lovich so beautifully trilled:

Home is where the heart is 
Home is so remote
Home is just emotion 
Sticking in my throat.

Now, I have to go unpack.


Perfectly sliced tomatoes.
2007-06-20T12:41:00.000-05:00
Taormina, Sicily – Yum. The tomatoes here are sweet, delicate, plump, and juicy. I’m about to dig in to plate of fresh tomatoes, fresh mozzarella di buffala, and a few leaves of basil. All sprinkled with local spicy-green Sicilian olive oil and sea salt.

Mmmmm. Tomatoes. Reminds me of the Ginsu Knives commercials that ran on late-night TV when we were kids. Those people sold millions of dollars worth of knives thanks to seven simple words. “Look how easily it cuts a tomato.”

They never told us a single thing about the knife. Not one thing about the handle, or its size or shape, or the blade, or the degree of sharpness.

Nothing!

In fact, they hardly even showed us the knife. Until the very end of the 90-second commercial when they fanned them out and flashed “All for 3 easy payments of only $19.95!”

So how in the world did the Ginsu Geishas sell us those knives without ever telling us about them?

Because they showed us what we really wanted. Perfectly sliced tomatoes. Not another kitchen implement. Looking at that guy slice through those rosy beefsteaks, I could almost taste their cool sweetness. And so could millions of other people who ordered Ginsu Knives.

People make decisions based on benefits not features. 

You see, the Ginsu Guys knew three important things:

1. 98% of American households had drawers full of dull knives.
2. Americans ate tomatoes more than any other fruit (or veggie!)
3. Cutting a juicy tomato with a dull knife was a big let down. You ended up with a mushy pile of slice-like remnants.

If the Ginsu Gurus had told us: “Hey we have really sharp knives for sale!”

We’d have replied: “No thanks, I have a drawer full of knives already.”

Instead, they heard our frustration and showed us a simple cure. Great sliced tomatoes at an affordable price. Plus, even before Seth Godin espoused the value of viral marketing, your mother and aunts and neighbors were already experts at it.

One grabbed her Ginsu to slice through the pork chops she’d just pulled out of the freezer, and then she told a friend how well it worked. And that friend told a friend, who told another. Soon the whole neighborhood was ordering those handy tomato and pork chop cutters on TV.

These days, thanks in large part to Ginsu, most of us have finely-serrated knives in our drawers. And maybe even a Wusthof or two. And we’re happily slicing and dicing with grace and ease.

Imagine perfectly sliced tomatoes.

So how does the lesson we learned from the Ginsu Gods affect you? Because the people who read what you write make decisions based on benefits, not features.

So the next time you’re pondering how to craft a persuasive letter, or you’re planning a PowerPoint presentation, or you’re editing a precious proposal, think about the people who have to read that stuff. And ask yourself: “What’s in it for them?”

Turn all those features you think are so wonderful into benefits for your reader – sell great sliced tomatoes, not the knife. You’ll discover more people will start paying attention to what you write. And you’ll find yourself actually writing less – and spending less time working on it.

Try it and see for yourself. And let me know how it works for you.

Adesso, mi scusi, l’insalata sta aspettando, e io ho fame.


CDWT
2007-06-12T17:42:00.000-05:00
I’ve often noticed a delightful phenomenon – in both the written and spoken conversation. And I love it. Maybe you’ve noticed too. When a particular word is repeated consecutively in a sentence.

It would seem there ought to be a term for it - to join its cousinary terms like “metaphor” and “cliché” and “onomatopoeia”.

My brother, Robert, and I (with exceptional guidance from Laura Ann Martha Dignazio Montoya of Austin Texas) have coined an acronym for this condition. We call it a CDWT - Coincidental Double Word Thingy.

We have half-heartedly endeavored to determine if there is a proper grammatical term, other than our acronym, that applies to this occurrence.

Now, I’m happy to report that the pithy editor of the New York Times crossword puzzle and NPR’s Weekend Edition Puzzle Master, Will Shortz has approved our term:

“I’ve never heard of a word for this grammatical oddity ... and Coincidental Double Word Thingy works as well as anything!”
- Will Shortz

Some CDWT examples we’ve collected:

He had had that kind of pie once before.

She noticed that that butterfly seemed to like only one type of flower.

She liked that that was what her sister gave her for her birthday

Something I should look for for mom

Just say when when you’re ready

But you had had a different perspective

I move in in a couple of weeks

If that time works out for you you are still invited of course.

I've learned that that can offend some people.

( I’m particularly proud of the next two as they contain consecutive CDWTs)

Then we would always know that that had had an influence on society.

If we had had enough notice, we could’ve put some money aside, aside from what we already had had saved up to buy beer.

Here’s a gem from Rachel Schipul. A CDWT flawlessly joined with a Coincidental Triple Word Thingy:

Things that we don’t do, do not affect you.
Things that we do do do affect you.

And here’s a CDWT Haiku I wrote for Rachel's husband, Ed Schipul.

What vain dreams I had 
Had slipped into a forest
For est! est! est! now.

So there you have it. The CDWT and CTWT. Send me your examples, and I’ll post them here!

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Dad

Why it’s sometimes OK to make a fool of yourself.

Found objects.

Being big.

Healthcare Relief on April 1st

Happy Birthday, Mr. Frost

Are you bad?

We’re looking for a few good losers.

I support National Grammar Day!

Me, Myself & I

Continual or Continuous?

Eight rules for business writing.

Was? Were?

There's an App for that.

Southwest Airlines fails to deliver on its promise.

The Fountains of Paradise

A new way of thinking and doing.

Find your Substitute Man.

This sucks.

On Language

Let’s get punctual.

Who gives a blog?

So Long Baby, So Long

Your comfortable rut.

About that roughed up nose.

333 words that have remained unchanged for 2000 years.

Close your eyes.

Warren Buffet does it, so can you.

The Spirit of 76

A San Francisco Treat

Bare.

Take a break. It's good for your mind.

The Audacity of Hope II

Let The Sun Shine.

Hats Off To Our Founding Mother

Domino’s got sauce.

Nuts.

Peep Yo

Hobnob with hoi polloi. Mingle with minions.

Depends

Getting good mileage.

How to start writing.

Breakfast of Champions.

Perspective.

All your base are belong to us.

I love my little blue gadget.

What I'll be giving this holiday.

This is incredibly fun.

My hang up.

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